lil buttah Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 Grrrr..... I had been making a wedding shop out of my Buttercup. I was planning on giving to my grandmother for her 50th anniversary. Today she came into my work and saw me working on my miniatures. She gave me one of those looks and said she wished I would use my talent toward something more profitable. Grrrrrr..... now I feel stupid for even thinking of giving it to her. I don't know if I still should or think of another gift. My spirits are down a little now. Should I just stick with my plan ,or is it silly to give it as a gift ? (pout) I was really proud of the house!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chesterfieldzoo Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 That's a toughie. If she thinks minis are a waste of time, I would say to keep it for you. Then again she may be thrilled that you used your 'talent' on something for HER instead of something more profitable. In any case, you should be proud of your work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lil buttah Posted October 21, 2007 Author Share Posted October 21, 2007 I think I might give it to her, maybe it will make her change her mind about my hobby. Thanks for the encouragement, now I'll be working even harder *smiles* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peachie Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 I would give it to her...she might realize how much hard work and love you have put into the house and really appreciate you making it for her..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heidiiiii Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 I would give it to her too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irene Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 That's a really tough question....I guess it all depends on what sort of person your grandmother is...If she is one that appreciates gifts that have had a lot of work put into it, than I'd say go for it...it not, well then I'd find something else and keep the shop for myself...I personally love gifts come from the heart and not from the store...I cried when my oldest daughter gave me a popsicle stick jewelry box that she had made (she was around 5 at the time)...it meant so much more to me than anything she could have bought in a store.....and throughout the years, I have tended to keep the handcrafted stuff over the store bought stuff..but then, I am a sentimental fool.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KathieB Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 To play the devil's advocate here ... I would not give it to her. If she thinks so little of what your doing that she can dismiss your efforts out of hand, she's not going to appreciate how much time, effort, and love went into this project and its going to remind her that you're not doing anything "profitable with your talents" (to quote her). I have long observed that we cannot change other people, only ourselves. and that, in general, people don't change their thinking, ways, or habits much after the age of 12 -- they only get more so. You've been disappointed once. If you give it to her with the thought that she will see the light and come to appreciate it, you're setting yourself up for disappointment #2. Whatever you decide to do, I hope it is a pleasant experience for both you and your grandmother. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeninky Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 I think our family sometimes can be so hurtful with words than anyone else.. I agree with KathieB...... I wouldn't give it to her either.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eveningstargazer Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 You know, I think I would give it to her. Once she sees it she may have a change of heart, especially knowing you made it just for her. Can you find a picture of your grandparents on their wedding day? If so I would frame a mini one of them and put that in there also. I think it is a sweet gift and am sure she would like it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 I agree with KathiB as well. Don't give it to her. Find a nice hankerchief and a bottle of cologne and wrap it and give it to her instead of something you worked so hard on and having her basically tell you what she did already. Save the dollhouse/scene for yourself or give it to someone who would really love and appreciate it. I worked on a lovely 1/2" scale hatbox all furnished once for my biological mother as a gift. Oh she ooded and ahed over it, and then I found it in the trash one day. I never made anything for her after that. Wolfie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petite Crafter Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 I'm inclined to agree with the devils' advocates. I would not give it to her either. I'm the type person, that if she had seen the house and made that comment, then on her 50th, I'd just tell her Happy Anniversary, and let her know that saying that didn't waster any of your hard earned money. Like said before, you cannot change others - especially when they reach her age, and get as set in their ways as she must be. But, on the other hand, even though her initial comment hurt your feelings, don't let it get to you. People are different, as you well know, and view things in many different ways. Be proud of your work on the house, and maybe keep it for yourself as a reminder of the Grandmother that you loved enough to make it for. You will enjoy it, but I doubt she ever would. This all being said in just my humble opinion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharon Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 I would choose another gift of something she would appreciate. It is better than giving her the house and then waiting for a positive reaction or maybe another hurtful statement about your hobby. Some people don't really know how innocent statements can really bother us. In her mind she probably thinks she is giving you good advice to use your talents in another way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ilovecats Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 Kathie has a good point. She may very well not appreciate the special gift you are making for her, why hurt your own feelings in the long run. I'd find something else to give and either save the gift for ;yourself, or make it for another person who may really appreciate your hard work :wub: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shy Spirit Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 If you think about what she said, she actually complimented you. She said that you have talent. As your grandmother, she may just be worried for your financial health. Wishing you could do something "profitable" doesn't necessarily mean that she doesn't appreciate your work - it could also mean that she's concerned for your welfare, and recognises that if you sold your minis, you wouldn't be paid what they are worth. It's a sad fact - the time and effort that goes into mini-making can't be recovered. Minis would be priced out of most people's budgets, otherwise. I would ask her if she'd like to have one of your settings. See what she says. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jokelly Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 This is why I now give gift cards and gift certificates for Christmas. I hate to do that, but people are extremely hard to shop for. And half of them just exchange it for something else. I gave a dollhouse to my niece last Christmas, but with a caveat. My sister is notorious for throwing things away and would think nothing of throwing the dollhouse away if she got into a mood and thought it was taking up too much space, so I let everyone know that I put many many many hours into it and if they ever think of getting rid of it to give it back to me. Normally I would never give gifts with conditions of giving it back, but my sister and her husband would throw it in the garbage without a second thought. She gets into neat freak modes and pitches everything. So periodically I check to make sure the dollhouse is still in the house. My niece loves it, but my sister is another story. My niece is currently making a small dollhouse at my house, but it doesn't go home. She's 12 and knows for sure that her mom would pitch it in a minute if she takes it home. It's going to be a lavender fairy house and she's doing it all herself. We haven't figured out where it's actually going when it's done, but probably not her house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shy Spirit Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 Lucky she has an aunt who understands! :wub: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goodteach0 Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 I would not give it to her. It sounds like she would not appreciate the hard work and time you've put into it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Violet2Dawn Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 I have to agree with those saying not to give it to her. As Gina suggested just give her something grandmotherish and keep the mini project for yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deb Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 I don't think I'd give it to her either just because somewhere down the road, you'd probably hear negative comments (from her or from other family members repeating what she said) about why she was given a gift that she didn't like. If she's already saying she thinks you're wasting time on minis, she probably wouldn't hesitate to comment later about how she didn't appreciate the gift. Save it for yourself or donate it to Toys for Tots or another worthwhile charity for Christmas. While your grandmother might not appreciate it, somewhere there's a little girl who would cherish it for a lifetime. I totally understand how you feel Jennifer. One of my friends has always said that she loves my houses and wished she had one, so for her bday last year, I custom built an Orchid for her. I did it in her favorite colors and personalized it to her interests, all the time thinking she would love it. When I gave it to her, she oohed and aaahed over it but said she didn't have room in her car to take it home that night. A year later, it's still in my guest room and she keeps making excuses about why she can't take it home. <shrugging> Oh well. I'll add it to the ones that I'm donating this year and someone else will enjoy it. Deb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petite Crafter Posted October 21, 2007 Share Posted October 21, 2007 Deb, I'm so sorry to hear that a beloved friend could be so callous. I would dearly love to have someone make a little house, special to me, in all my favorites. Mercy, what a wonderful gift that would be! She may well not want to take it home for fear that some of her other friends would not find it a wonderful gift, but more a childs' toy. It just goes to show, the very people that we love the most, and work the hardest for, are the very ones that seem to hurt us the most. If I went to all that work, time and trouble, letting alone expense, to make a custom made house for someone, and they made those types of comments, or otherwise just acted like they didn't appreciate it, I'm afraid that would be it. I wouldn't expect them to drool over it, but at least to appreciate all the labor of love that went into it. I love making gifts for people, but when I get a negative reaction, that's it - I'm not going to go out of my way for them again. I don't feel like that is being ugly, just utterly honest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lil buttah Posted October 22, 2007 Author Share Posted October 22, 2007 Grrrrr..... now that I've read all your honest and wonderful comments I think I'll keep it. I would definately hate to hear another negative thing from her, and I would not want to be dissappointed in her reaction if she just blew it off. I think maybe I can find a way to store it for if my younger daughter ever marries, I know she loves my minis and will definately appreciate my efforts more then my grandmother!! I love her so much but sge says a lot of hurtful things sometimes, and as some of you pointed out it's because she cares, she just goes about it wrong. Thanks for all your advise. At least I know I have a place to go where people understand how hurtful a comment like that can be and can vent, thanks everyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ilovecats Posted October 22, 2007 Share Posted October 22, 2007 I totally understand how you feel Jennifer. One of my friends has always said that she loves my houses and wished she had one, so for her bday last year, I custom built an Orchid for her. I did it in her favorite colors and personalized it to her interests, all the time thinking she would love it. When I gave it to her, she oohed and aaahed over it but said she didn't have room in her car to take it home that night. A year later, it's still in my guest room and she keeps making excuses about why she can't take it home. <shrugging> Oh well. I'll add it to the ones that I'm donating this year and someone else will enjoy it. Deb Are you kidding me!? You did a beautiful job. I can remember how excited you were about doing this house for her....and you even posted pic's for us to see. I'm so sorry Deb. She doesn't deserve it. Especially after the work, effort and time you put into the house. You were soooo excited. Ungrateful little.... :lol: Your houses are always so beautifully done. I can't imagine not wanting one of yours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, especially when it was customized and tailored for the person. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prariegurl Posted October 22, 2007 Share Posted October 22, 2007 Jennifer, My grandmother used to say hurtful comments like that, too. My sister, cousin and I all felt the lash of her tongue. She didn't mean to be hurtful, but she didn't think! One day she said something negative about my new haristyle, and I flat out told her that her comment hurt, and I liked my new hairstyle better. She never said anything like that to me again, although she continued to do so to my sister and cousin, sho never stood up to her. have you tried confronting her when she says hurtful things? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted October 22, 2007 Share Posted October 22, 2007 Get Grannie a nice broach or something tangible that she will understand. Perhaps some chocolates or something and keep that gorgeous treasure for YOU! Wolfie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monica_the_haunted Posted October 22, 2007 Share Posted October 22, 2007 Awe no! I'm so sorry :lol: Actually, learning to make these tiny little things can indeed be profitable if you start to sell them! I feel awful that shes not more supportive of you but, try not to let it ruin your joy and fun! I have mixed feeling about you giving it to her so I can't advise you on that. You work is gorgeous and don't you forget it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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