Vent

[kellee]

Just ignore, I just need to get this off my chest.!

I am so frustrated, I have put my application in every store on my side of town. I have had 2 interviews and put out probably about 40 applications. I have recieved no calls! I have been a stay at home mom for 11 years. My boys are both in school now all day so I want to get out of the house & make some $$ so we can get out of debt. I have disconnect notices on all our utilities. Hubby is working his butt off. And in constant pain.! He had a procedure done on Friday that was "supposed"to help with the pain, it has done NOTHING! Everytime he goes to the Dr. or for a procedure we loose a day of pay.! I am so frustrated that I cant find anythng.. My hours are limited I can only work while the kids are in school... cannot afford a babysitter.! I dont know where the money for Christmas is coming. I just cannot win for losing.!

kellee

[heidiiiii]

Kelly I know you said to ignore this but I cant. I wish I was a bazillionare cause I would help you out.

I too am dealing with the crunch of the economy.

Here a couple things you can do until you get a job...

Get hold of an office in your area (do you have 211 info line?) and get some help.

These are things that I do when I used to get really stuck..(better now but I know it is always there).

First off, get on energy assistance. Your local state should have it and they have raised the income limits. Find about about emergency help if your utilities are going to get shut off.

Second, go to the local food pantry. You can get some great stuff to fill your cabinets and it will save you money until it gets better. Go now because you can get signed up for a thanksgiving basket.

Third, get in touch with Toys for Tots. If you cant afford to get gifts for the kids, they can help.

and finally.. Dont beat yourself up about it..it happens to the best of us. Do a thorough eval on your finances and make drastic cuts where they need to be made. If that means losing cable or cell phone so be it for the temporary. Food, heat, electricity and shelter are your main priorities.

Not lecturing here one bit..I just know of what you speak and want you to be able to make it easier for you to sleep at night until you can get a job.

[Lisa_F]

Kellee,

I can't ignore this post either, my heart goes out to you because I've "been there" before and know how difficult it can be. Having been through some desparate financial times when my boys were children, I still remember vividly how it feels and know that we're never farther away than a few paychecks (or unanticipated medical crisis) from going through times like that again.

Heidi's advice is excellent advice and there's not a whole lot more that I can add to it, except to suggest if you don't yet have 211 in your area (it came to our area just this last year) then try contacting the United Way for your county. Some of their member agencies may be able to help you. Our local United Way's member agencies include the Salvation Army - and they help with food, utilities, and Christmas gifts for children. There is also another member agency that is a free, job assistance agency - and they help numerous individuals get jobs year round.

If you have 211 in your area though - I'd make them your first call. You just dial the numbers 211 - it's a free call and they would have a vast knowledge of non-profit agencies in the area and what type of assistance is available. There are non-profit agencies that can help with utilities, food, eviction notices, etc. It is definitely a good call to make to find out what is available in your area.

Definitely contact your local food bank, as Heidi mentioned, most food banks, in addition to helping with regular food assistance (some you can go to once a week, some once a month, etc), they also provide Thanksgiving and Christmas food baskets. Most of these holiday baskets are very very generous. Many light years ago :lol: when my boys were very little and I was a single working mom going through college, I went to our foodbank for the holiday baskets to help us make it through - the word "holiday basket" was misleading - what we received was an entire grocery cart filled with groceries and an invitation to shop at the food banks "santa's shop" for a nice gift for each of my boys.

Big hugs to you Kellee, whenever you feel the need to vent - this is the right place to do it - the "group hugs" in here are the best around!

[heidiiiii]

Thanks for the back up Lisa.. I knew it was United Way (duh!). You can also get in touch with a Catholic Charities (if you have one) and they can help if you are going to lose your house or be evicted..they can be a go between with the landlord or mortgage co. They had a big story about it in our local paper.

I also wanted to add...Dont ever ever ever never be too proud to accept help! NEVER! You have kids and you gotta do what you gotta do. Just do what I have done in the past. When you are better on your feet, pay it forward. Donate time or money to the agency that helped you.

Your Dh is the only one supporting your family and you have to keep him in TIP TIP shape! You should have him go to his human resources department at work and see if he qualifies for FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act). He will be able to go to the doctors for his ailment w/o repercussions of losing his job. He may not get paid for it (unless he has short term disability) but he wont have to worry.

Lots of prayers are going to go out to you and yours today..Bet you on that one!! Times will turn and you will be better soon.

[Just One More]

I hope this isn't a really bad idea but have you tried the school for work? I know two ladies over the years in the same situation and they found work at the schools, sometimes office work, or teachers assistant. Just a thought. You mentioned stores. I worked at McDonalds when my kids were little and got really good hours so I could be home when they were. They pay as well as retail stores and you don't have to buy clothes for work. Some people thought it was demeaning but it sure helped me when I needed it. Hope things get better for you soon.

[SallyG]

I'm sending my wishes too that things will get better for you. I, too, have been one step away from being homeless (or at least living in my car), and almost destitute. Things do get better!

In reference to the disconnect notices on your utilities...I don't know how old your children are, but I know that in my state, at least, they are not allowed to cut off utilities to a house with children, especially in the winter.

As far as jobs, I sympathize with you....been there, also. Jobs are not always easy to come by. However, do cut down your expenses to the bare minimum...cable tv, internet, cell phones, etc. If you don't really NEED it, turn it off...at least until you get caught up.

Check with your local paper. Ours does a Brighter Christmas Fund every year to help families in need provide Christmas for their children.

As far as Christmas, don't sweat that too much. Children in school are old enough to understand that times are tight, and can be happy with a special toy and a filling Christmas dinner. Children are never too young to learn about financial responsibilities.

I hope you find a job soon...there must be some stores that are hiring extra help this time of year.

[Lisa_F]

I also wanted to add...Dont ever ever ever never be too proud to accept help! NEVER! You have kids and you gotta do what you gotta do. Just do what I have done in the past. When you are better on your feet, pay it forward. Donate time or money to the agency that helped you.

Couldn't have said it better myself

When your family is in need, there is absolutely no shame in doing what you need to do (legally, of course :lol: ) to take care of your family's immediate needs. This was a lesson that took me awhile to learn. In my earlier post, when I mentioned that I received a holiday basket that filled a shopping cart - I didn't mention that the "basket" was delivered to my home, by a vanload of members of a church that had "adopted" our family that year through the foodbanks holiday program. I was not expecting the outpouring of kindness and selfless generosity that we received, and as they carried the groceries up to our front door, I stood there and cried - partly in relief at not having to worry about where the groceries were going to come from (there was enough food to feed us for a couple weeks!), but mostly from shame - I was embarrassed that I needed help to provide for my family.

That was decades ago - and I'll tell you, were I to ever be in that situation again, I would not once feel embarrassed or ashamed. I would hold my head high and know that by asking for and recieving help - I was providing for my family. I've worked in the non-profit field now for many years now, and rest assured - in our economy, people from all walks of life and all financial backgrounds occassionally need help. That's what it's there for. You ask for help when you need it - you "pay back" by helping when you can. That's what makes it all work :wine:

In addition to contacting 211 and other local non-profits, you might also want to contact your local DSHS office to see if your family falls under the income requirements for emergency temporary assistance.

Hugs,

Lisa

[Violet2Dawn]

((((((((((((((huggs))))))))))))))))))

I second all of the advice you have been given. I have been there and used those utilities myself, and now pay it forward when ever I can..............What goes aroung comes around. Now is just your turn to receive a bit of love...............help.............encouragement. We are all behind you Kellee.

[Gayle]

Another job at the school might be in the cafeteria. Around here, they are finished by 2 and get home before the little ones.

Good luck. If you don't ask for help, no one will know that you need it.

[Kalygirl]

big *HUGS* Kellee....I'm lucky in that I don't have kids yet, but I have been in a similar situation, and have had to ask for help as well.....it feels horrid and kicks your pride in the tookus, but realistically, you've gotta do what you gotta do, and when things get better, you can pay it forward. Heck, you could pay it forward even now....homeless shelters and christmas gift collection services like the Angel tree always need volunteers for the holidays. Also, a lot of places like food cupboards and thrift shops need workers, so you can often volunteer to earn items. Final suggestion is to see if you have a local General Assistance in your city...it's usually under the *city of* or *town of* section of your local phone book, and they often can help out with utilities, heating, food and sometimes even rent/mortgage. And that makes me think about CAP (Community Action Programs) that can help with heat and utilites, and also the Department of Human Services (or whatever your local equivalent is) often has an emergency loan program, especially for folks with children who are about to lose utilties. Finally (for real this time) I don't know if you live in an apartment or not, but in Maine, there are laws that landlords cannot evict any tenant who has kids between the months of October and April.

In any case, don't forget that we all will be pulling for you, and please feel free to vent anytime, we're family and that's what we're here for!

--Jen

[Shy Spirit]

Kellee, please vent all you want, right here. Everyone has given what sounds like excellent advice. (How fortunate that we live in a part of the world that can offer support when it's needed.) I hope that one of those applications you sent out will find its way into the right hands, and you will be hired soon. Hang in there!

{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}

[TinyJudi]

Kellee, hang in there. You are in the depth of understanding here on the forums. Remember, there is no shame is asking for help. The shame is in NOT asking and letting your family do without. Heck, I have a full time job with insurance-medical benefits and I still had to go through the Lions Club for new glasses for myself and my husband. My insurance doesn't cover optical and there is no way I could have afforded $600 for us to have new glasses. In the past, I have gotten help from the United Way agency. When my ran for my life and my children's lives, they provided vouchers so that I could get the things we needed to set up a new household. Remember, we are here for you and you can always come here and vent. {{{{{Hugs}}} to you and your family. Oh, with the holidays coming up, there may be more work available. Have you check for a local Craigslist? I was looking on my local one and there were tons of seasonal help wanted ads.

[MichelleG]

Kelly, I feel your pain, believe me. Being a single mother myself, having high rent, and bills coming in, most not getting paid right now. I've had to put my pride aside and apply for foodstamps. Heck, we've paid our taxes, and I don't feel bad getting the help I need to feed my children. Working full time in an office got over whelming for me. So I put the word out that I can House clean. Well, for 25 dollars an hour (some pay cash), I can make my own hours. I have a couple jobs I do on a regular basis. I made up some business cards and posted them up around town. I also have an office I clean on the weekends. No I never thought I'd be scrubbing toilets to make ends meet, but I do what I have to for now. This yr I"m also going to apply for the Toys for Tots. They also give out Turkeys, and gift certificates for StopnShop grocery store. I am very grateful for the help that is out there.

We all go through hard times. Trust in God that you will be ok. Ask for help and you will get it. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.

Michelle

[mommymakesstuff2]

When me and my husband were still in Oxnard I was demoted..politicla reasons and I had to trin my repleacement only they didn't tell me that she was my replacement until her training was complete grrr... Anyway I had to choose between medical insurance and rent!

So I went on Medical and then I did pet sitting to make ends meet. I just made a flyer and put it in a pet store. I just said I would feed peoples' pets and take them for walks while they were gone. I could book several jobs on the weekend and I could take my kids with me I just had the girls at the time but they would help.. you could try that one it really isn't too hard.

Food stamps take 'em if you can! do what you have to! it will be alright in the end

[heidiiiii]

Clean houses or offices

Pet walker/sitter

Plant waterer (yes it is a job)

Rake leaves (big money in that)

Work in the schools

Work in a daycare as an assistant

McDonalds/Burger King/Taco Bell

Coffee shop (get the morning hours)

Sell things on ebay

Deliver newspapers

Clerk in a small doctors office

Lots of these jobs would allow you to make your own hours. The rest you could get for morning hours. If you worked in a daycare, you could have your kids there with you for probably a small fee for the couple hours they would be there with you.

[SallyG]

Many times when I have been between jobs, I did housecleaning. I would make up flyers, post them all over town in grocery stores, beauty salons, etc...anywhere the clientile I was looking for might be. I charged $25/hr with a 2 hour minimum. I could set my own hours and do as many jobs a day/week as I was comfortable with. I was paid at the end of the job, and cash was preferable.

I, too, never thought I'd be scrubbing someone else's toilet to make a living, but hey!...it's money and there is good money in it, too. You figure you could work while the kids were in school, and if you had one job each day for the week, that's $250...more if you spend 3-4 hours on the job. And I never let people try to get my services for less. Seems like the more money people had, the less they wanted to part with it. I had one lady who lived on a waterfront estate tell me she never paid more than $10/hr for someone to clean!!! I told her good luck finding someone for THAT price!!!

I did dusting, vacuuming, bathrooms and floors. No windows, no laundry, no sheet changing, no dishes. Just the abovementioned duties. And if I arrived and the check was not on the counter for me, no cleaning that day!!

I made fairly good money while I was searching for a bookkeeping job.

[chesterfieldzoo]

There have been some really wonderful suggestions here. Wish I had known of all the available resources when I needed them.

What I have noticed though, is that no one has adressed the fact that you aren't getting any callbacks. Are you dressing well to go fill out applications? Jeans and a t-shirt do not make a good impression. Do you have an enthusiastic attitude when you talk to anyone? A depressed demeanor or an attitude of 'gee, I really don't want to work here, but I'm desperate' or kids running around wildly is a surefire way to get your application tossed in the garbage. Have you tried calling any of the places you have applied at to ask for an honest answer on why you did not get the job? I am not saying you have done any of these, they are just suggestions.

[Missymew]

Wow, everybody here sure has given great advice. As I live in Canada, our available services are different that in the U.S. so I'd not be able to offer any help in that respect.

I do know of a mum here though who likes to be available for her children. She does housecleaning for people. Her children are both in grade school, so she drops them off at 8:30 A.M. and then goes and cleans a house. She spends 2 hours and collects $50 cash (no receipts - no taxes). She then picks up her kids and takes them home for lunch. She drops them back at the school and cleans another house - same deal.

Two days a week she only works mornings so that she can keep up her own home and do the family errands. This extra $400 a month really helps her family.

Another suggestion that I've not seen mentioned here yet, is perhaps you could take in a couple of children and babysit in your home. This could especially be helpful if your children are not of school age.

Let us know how you're doing. I'm sensing a lot of concern and love here.

Hugs

-Susanne

[stantilda]

I noticed that you mentioned you are applying at stores. This may be part of the problem of not getting interviews. I have worked as a manager in several retail places and restaurants. I know this is going to sound cold, but if someone applied with limited availability, I would immediately have to put the application aside. This is not due to my personal choice, but company policy. Many retail managers are told not to hire someone that cannot work weekends and evenings. Day shifts are reserved for long time employees. Most entry level people have to start with the worst hours. Many employees have to work for several years to have a Monday-Friday day shift. Most retail store people never have the option of choosing hours. I am sorry that sounds so harsh, but it is the horrible fact of the retail world. Which is probably why I am no longer part of it.

I now teach. I do think a job in the school system is something to pursue, as others have suggested. The cafeteria always needs help at our school. You may also want to look into substitute teaching. The requirements are different in each school system. Some require some college, some a high school diploma. It is not steady work, but based on the schools need you may get called everyday.

I wish you the best of luck. I was forced to file for bankruptcy several years ago and it was a very difficult time in my life. However, my life has turned around. I hope that you are able to find something soon.

Speaking as a former manager, it is a good idea to call about an application. It shows that you have a genuine interest in the job.

[kellee]

There have been some really wonderful suggestions here. Wish I had known of all the available resources when I needed them.

What I have noticed though, is that no one has adressed the fact that you aren't getting any callbacks. Are you dressing well to go fill out applications? Jeans and a t-shirt do not make a good impression. Do you have an enthusiastic attitude when you talk to anyone? A depressed demeanor or an attitude of 'gee, I really don't want to work here, but I'm desperate' or kids running around wildly is a surefire way to get your application tossed in the garbage. Have you tried calling any of the places you have applied at to ask for an honest answer on why you did not get the job? I am not saying you have done any of these, they are just suggestions.

I would think the same things... but

I did get 1 callback and got an interview... but the hours is what they did not want to do.

I hate dressing up BUT I have been dressing up in dress pants, black flats & a nice shirt just for the application fill outs. I dont take my boys with me.. and I do have or try to have a smile & a good attidute! Absolutly.!

OH, and yes, I do call back! I wait a week after I turn in the applications and then I call to speak with a manager and see if they had a chance to check my app. Every manager I spoke with says the hours they cannot work with.!

Kellee

[kellee]

I noticed that you mentioned you are applying at stores. This may be part of the problem of not getting interviews. I have worked as a manager in several retail places and restaurants. I know this is going to sound cold, but if someone applied with limited availability, I would immediately have to put the application aside. This is not due to my personal choice, but company policy. Many retail managers are told not to hire someone that cannot work weekends and evenings. Day shifts are reserved for long time employees. Most entry level people have to start with the worst hours. Many employees have to work for several years to have a Monday-Friday day shift. Most retail store people never have the option of choosing hours. I am sorry that sounds so harsh, but it is the horrible fact of the retail world. Which is probably why I am no longer part of it.

I now teach. I do think a job in the school system is something to pursue, as others have suggested. The cafeteria always needs help at our school. You may also want to look into substitute teaching. The requirements are different in each school system. Some require some college, some a high school diploma. It is not steady work, but based on the schools need you may get called everyday.

I wish you the best of luck. I was forced to file for bankruptcy several years ago and it was a very difficult time in my life. However, my life has turned around. I hope that you are able to find something soon.

Speaking as a former manager, it is a good idea to call about an application. It shows that you have a genuine interest in the job.

I agree, that is exactly what the retail stores are telling me.! I dont have much in the way of skills , I can type ( as you all know) and I do about 30 words a minute... give or take a few.! :yikes: I can do filing but I dont have much work history.!

[kellee]

Well, I just put in 3 more applications... One is at the neighboring school district for cafeteria work. I also put an application in at eash of the Hospitals.! It says to only apply for 1 position, (SHH! Dont tell) I applied for like 5 at each hospital.! :yikes: cafeteria, patient information, and a few other postitions.!! I applied for a nurses assistant as well, it says it requires 6 months of nurse assistant schooling or something like that... I dont have that but I am willing to do it!!

I sure wish I would have done something while I was in school, like furthered my education. But I dont regret what I did instead. I toke care of my Grandfather while he was dieing of Cancer. I told Timmy that If he is given the chance to further his education then he needs to do it.!

Kellee

[kellee]

Hubby is going to make a few calls this week or early next week depending on his hours. Dr. wants him Off work now, Becuase the procedure they donwe on Friday did nothing... actually it did do something, it made it Worse!!! So, Hubby sees the neuro surgeon on Thursday... and we will go from there. I have been watching all the bills really close and although I am really worried I will not give up.!

I have called every place I put an app in and the only thing stoping me right now is the hours, but I cant change them right now unless Hubby goes off work. Then I can work any hours, but right now I am stuck.!

Zach was sick Monday & Tuesday. He came home from school early on Monday, and was sick all day Tuesday.!

Timmy came home early today, he go t sick on the bus, and odds are he will be home tomorrow too.!

How is a MOM supposed to work when they have sick kids! I am so glad I did not start a job this week!

I put an application in at the nearest Hospital, I did it online, then I went up to the Hospital to see if I caould fill out a paper application! There are no paper apps.! but the lady asked what my Qualifications were... and I told her I am a Mom, I have basic computer skills, can type about 30 words a minute, can do filing..., and I am a Head Chef, Accountant, Nurse, Doctor, playmate, Housecleaner, and much much more.. She smiled and said she completely agreed.!

Kellee

[jeninky]

Why not do typing at home or get your education in medical coding and you can do that at home too!

just a thought..

Wish you much luck! I think it is always hard on everyone this time of the year!

[Petite Crafter]

Kellee, if it seems to be the hours they can't work with, have you asked any of them what hours they could, or would be willing to work with? Some companies don't mind slightly off hours, if they are aware of your situation, [kids home from school], ahead of time. Some companies allow parents to go in a few minutes early, maybe not take lunch, and not leave till the last minute that you can get by with.

Also, it may not be a great job, but have you tried any daycare centers, school lunch rooms, school libraries, or places like that? Around here, alot of mothers work at those types of jobs, because they can get off when the kids do.

And, around here, there are some people that do at home work for some of the companies. Things like typing, doing company newsletters, company mailings, etc. No, not the type of 'work at home' junk that you see all over the web - these are honest to goodness local companies that may not be large enough to have a full time office employee take the time to do some things like that, so they pay stay at home mothers either by the hour, or by the specific job to do those things.

Alot of Dr's and dentists offices also pay stay at home mothers to do note typing for them. And, our local college has alot of jobs that they 'hire out'.

I'm just suggesting that maybe you call around, look for other alternatives than a regular job at '9 to 5' companies. There may be something in your area available that will allow you to keep your schedule with your children, even though it may not pay quite as much.