mommymakesstuff2 Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 You get 5 who act like their in high school again? Spreading rumors, blacklisting people and making them feel like out casts... I really used to like the idea of the small town until last week...now there are rumors about me too...And the cool kids decided they aren't going to talk to me anymore . For the first time in three years i don't like it here and I want to go back to my house in a gang injunctioned neighbor hood. Gang members have more logic than these thirty year old women...big breath.. 8 months left...8 months left...I am really broken hearted over the way these women are... I guess I need to stop being nice again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Esther Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 Some people think that spreading rumors about others makes them look better. How immature! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heidiiiii Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 Oh Arda I am sorry... There is a saying at Fred`s hospital and I dont know if this is true everywhere.."Nurses eat their own!" (the nurses on his floor told him this) They must be taking a course you didnt sign up for. Just ignore the cattiness. You are there for you and not them. It is nice to have some people to chat with but if they are just going to be mean *witches* then they do not deserve to bask in your loveliness! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
New Day Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 Arda, I am so sorry for you about this situation. I think it depends on the group and the environment. When I worked retail, all of the cashiers were women, and it was a snake pit. It is hard not to sucked in to the drama sometimes, but I just formed bonds with people from other departments. Of course, this then gave the cashiers more ammunition against me, since I obviously "thought I was too good for them." Whatever! I also noticed the same type of dynamic when I worked at a daycare center as a teen. Also, a group of just women. I have been lucky with the group of homeschooling moms that I am close to now. They are amazing women, and wonderful friends. I am grateful not only for their friendship, but also that they have shown me that not all groups of women are like that. I have to be honest, I was starting to wonder, based on past experiences. We actually discussed this exact thing not too long ago, and some of their insights were very enlightening. What some of them pointed out, is that in some cases, when people feel powerless, (as is often the case for women in entry-level positions in the workplace) they will form their own cliques that they feel put them above others. And they will try to maintain their "positions" through intimidation and bullying - just like high school! It is sad, really. They are doing it all out of a sense of insecurity. Just hold your head high, and if you have to feel anything for them, let it be pity. In the long run, it's the grown ups who get promoted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fantail Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 An observation that I have concluded: 10 year high school reunion-same old clics...who has what job, how much money, what kind of spouse, etc. 20 year high school reunion-clic's coming down, more talk of difficulties of parenting, high cost of living, etc. 30 year high school reunion-everyone just happy to see each other and be together. Party, party, party! And to the chicks spreading rumors.........well, you know. Who gives a rat's behind? In the grand scheme they mean nothing. Hang in..it get's better with age. annie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chattycathy66 Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 That's one of the biggest reasons it's nice to see men in nursing--maybe they can break up some of the cattiness,lol! Sorry you have to go through it now...keep deep breathing. I don't want to offend anyone when I say this, but you will find that many nurses just have low self esteems and come from some type of disfunctional family--MYSELF included, or I wouldn't say it...or it could just be that I live in Indiana,lol. Just makes people feel better to put someone else down. Just hang in there, you can do it.... Yup, Heidi, you got it, many nurses Eat their own. I wonder if it's like "paying dues" to some society...lol I work on a smaller unit, less nurses, but for the most part, we all like each other. I've been there 16 yrs, and I've been blessed to find a group of friends who are like my family in the way -- we drive each other nuts some days, but in the end we'd still fight for each other. I hope when you're done you find your "niche" and all these bad days will be forgotten. It's like when your kids come home and tell you how "so and so did this or that" and you somehow try to convince them to just hang in there, keep your head high, and in time, you'll see that it really doesn't matter. Keep counting down B) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SallyG Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 It's offices as well. I've worked in some where one person steps out of the room and they all start talking about her. She comes back, another one leaves and they all start talking about HER! It's so juvenile!! Of course, if you don't want to join in, then you "think you are better" than they are. That's when they start running to the supervisor carrying tales of what you did wrong (and 99% of it they make up). I've actually quit a couple of jobs after telling a supervisor and roomful of cats what I think of them!!! I work in an office now with 2 other girls...one is 23, one is 30, and I'm 51...and we all get along great! Just hang in there and ignore them. The ones who are doing it are obviously very immature and childish. Unfortunately, no matter where you go or what you do, there is always going to be that "group". It's better to learn to ignore them now! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeffrey Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 mean *witches* One letter off there, Heidi? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ilovecats Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 I'm sorry to hear about this, it is true tho and it happens everywhere. Just wait until you are working as a nurse, it will be the same if not worse....and then it will be the tech's or MA's or someone else backstabbing you because you are the nurse and they aren't. If you're not a part of the click you are a target regardless. That is part of where developing a thick skin comes in. hang in there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymakesstuff2 Posted April 29, 2008 Author Share Posted April 29, 2008 An observation that I have concluded: 10 year high school reunion-same old clics...who has what job, how much money, what kind of spouse, etc. 20 year high school reunion-clic's coming down, more talk of difficulties of parenting, high cost of living, etc. 30 year high school reunion-everyone just happy to see each other and be together. Party, party, party! And to the chicks spreading rumors.........well, you know. Who gives a rat's behind? In the grand scheme they mean nothing. Hang in..it get's better with age. annie I wish it did get better with age they in in their thirties! I have 8 years on them. Now they are going to the instructor with their lies! I found this out today! I am sure I will hear about it tomorrow. I just want to finish school. I think the ring leader is after me because her hubz is locked up and my hubz has the key. She likes to cause drama. I am so stressed out to go to class tomorrow and have to deal with this nonsense. B) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KathieB Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 Oh, wow .. I can see the lack of self esteem and insecurity behind all of this. Hang in there, gal ... we know you will prevail! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymakesstuff2 Posted April 30, 2008 Author Share Posted April 30, 2008 Oh, wow .. I can see the lack of self esteem and insecurity behind all of this. Hang in there, gal ... we know you will prevail! Thanks I hope you are right. I have an exam tomorrow and it is very hard to concentrate! She and her friends are making noises in class behind me while I try to take notes. It's just crazy! I just hope I can be put in a separate rotation form these women next semester. B) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twilight1000 Posted April 30, 2008 Share Posted April 30, 2008 ARda, feel really bad for you. Is there anyone you can talk to, like some kind of guidance counselor? When I was in high school, my friends and I were not part of the 'elite' clique. In fact, those popular kids created something called a 'Maggot List'. It was a pretty long list and my friends and I were on it. You'd expect people to outgrow that sort of stuff. Best wishes! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KathieB Posted April 30, 2008 Share Posted April 30, 2008 Thanks I hope you are right. I have an exam tomorrow and it is very hard to concentrate! She and her friends are making noises in class behind me while I try to take notes. It's just crazy! I just hope I can be put in a separate rotation form these women next semester. B) If they're making noises, they're probably not taking notes. They may find themselves rotated out of the program. Sounds as if they're shooting themselves in the foot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizard Posted April 30, 2008 Share Posted April 30, 2008 If they're making noises, they're probably not taking notes. They may find themselves rotated out of the program. Sounds as if they're shooting themselves in the foot. B) It's easy to say just get on with it, but at times that's easier said than done. Whats the chance you can change where you sit, by getting there earlier or later? Are they picking on anyone else or just on you because of who your husband is? Arda, feel really bad for you. Is there anyone you can talk to, like some kind of guidance counselor? I'd do this even if it is to formalize the fact that the bullying is going on...worst comes to worst and you fail a paper, they may give you a resit based on what has happened. :lol: Over there is there some sort of final check on nurses before they are allowed to join the nurses association (and get a job)? Over here there are rules, and I believe that there are police checks that need to be passed, maybe she knows that being married to her hubby means she can not practice? And she has not admitted it to the course (just guessing at this stage). As someone else said, Nurses eat their own, so do office workers, shop assistances, and everone else. Unless you are lucky enough to work soley with men (I work with 18 of them), the bitchness goes on, I have alway been a "nerd" so the crap is a bit like water off a ducks back, but it's hard to get to that stage without going slighty mad first! B) Let us know how you get on.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymakesstuff2 Posted April 30, 2008 Author Share Posted April 30, 2008 Thanks you everyone for your emotional support. It is even harder for me this week because everyone but me is on vacation. So, usually I could come home and hug my kids. But, right now the house is empty. Liz, they have decided my study buddy is guilty by association and they have black listed her too. It really hurts because I have been sharing my study tools and making sure our class is fed so that we can all pass. We have a states test that we have to pass to become Nurses. Please cover me in prayer I have an exam today and if I didn't pass I am sure it wouldn't make them sad at all. Please keep me in your thoughts. I am hoping my nerves will not get the best of me. I have a hard time when we are in the lab one on one with the instructor. I am soooo thankful to all my friends here. I think I might explode if I had no one to discuss these things with. B) Thanks again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heidiiiii Posted April 30, 2008 Share Posted April 30, 2008 You want me to come over there and beat em up for ya??? (LOL just kidding..15yrs ago I would be gung-ho for that challenge!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KathieB Posted April 30, 2008 Share Posted April 30, 2008 Sending prayers and warm hugs and all kinds of positive vibes your way, Arda. Hang in there! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SallyG Posted April 30, 2008 Share Posted April 30, 2008 I can't believe these are grown women. I think I'd have to confront them and set their butts straight. Sometimes with people like that, it's the only thing you can do. They prey on people they perceive as weaker...standing up to them makes them retreat with their cowardly tails between their legs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TinyJudi Posted April 30, 2008 Share Posted April 30, 2008 Arda, your situation sounds terrible, but I am certain that you will be the better woman. As it was pointed out, if they are busy making noises and not taking notes, then they aren't going to be up to par for the exam. For shame that one of these women actually becomes a nurse and someone has her as a caregiver. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chattycathy66 Posted May 1, 2008 Share Posted May 1, 2008 Sorry I'm a little late with the prayers and good luck again :kicking: Hope all went well! Judi wrote exactly what I was thinking that these silly women are going to be someones nurse--some poor patient is going to be relying on them to know what they're doing---too bad they've been making noises instead of paying attention! My husband's grandma who lived to be almost 98 had 2 great sayings that she'd use interchangeably for peoples behavior or a crazy situation....She'd either say, It'll all come out in the wash", or even better, "they'll get theirs!". She was usually right Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
what2craftnow Posted May 1, 2008 Share Posted May 1, 2008 I'm late in wishing you the very best of luck on your exam Arda...hope you aced it!!! As for those "twits" you are dealing with - how sad they haven't progressed one iota from their useless high-school existence. If it is interferring severely on your work and progress, I would mention it to the instructor or a counselor at the very least. Our healthcare facilities need caring and considerate people - not aging cheerleader's whose biggest concern is who they can make feel small and worthless. You are without doubt a better person than the whole group of them, so hold your head high and let them sink their own ship! Hang in there!!! Chris Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymakesstuff2 Posted May 1, 2008 Author Share Posted May 1, 2008 Thanks to all of you got an A on my exam and the teacher never bothered to talk to me so I think I am in the clear. And the crazy ring leader started talking to me yesterday as if nothing ever happened. I don't think she knowsthat I know she went to the instructor trying to get me on trouble. UGH weirdos. Like I said my house in Oxnard is looking pretty good to me right now and I hated it there So you can guess what i think of this place now! Oh well, I just have to remind myself I get to leave when I am done here and they can't leave unless the warden sends their hubz to another detention center. Ha Ha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wenlaine Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 Congrats on the A, Arda. You're going to make an excellent nurse. Don't waste your valuable time trying to figure these women out, they aren't worth it. Let them do their thing and you do yours and you'll see who the winner will be. Good luck with the rest of your schooling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymakesstuff2 Posted May 2, 2008 Author Share Posted May 2, 2008 Congrats on the A, Arda. You're going to make an excellent nurse. Don't waste your valuable time trying to figure these women out, they aren't worth it. Let them do their thing and you do yours and you'll see who the winner will be. Good luck with the rest of your schooling. Thanks so much. But, even though I haven't heard anything from my instructor. I feel like I have to look over my shoulder and watch for knives in my back . I am very excited about fall semester though. We will be doing maternity pediatrics and I get to watcha real surgery! Woo Hoo. I guess I better start watching some slasher films to get ready for the real blood and gore huh? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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