5/2/08 Girl Fights

26 posts in this topic

It seems that there have been a lot of news about Girl Violence and Girl fights. I know when I went to school, the girls fights were always worse than the guys because girls always used weapons and just did not fight fair. But, I can't say it was as bad as it is now. What happened to humanity? Do you think it's worse than it used to be 10 & 20 years ago, or do you think it's just very shocking to people now beause of cameras and the internet?

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It seems to me, that girl fights were less physically violent. (I also go back more than 10 & 20 years though LOL!) The violence in todays world scares me...

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The world at large is getting so much more violent so this don't shock me. I grad. in 1974 and can't remember any girl fights. I heard of a few, but no weapons, more like hair pulling and stuff like that. I really am scared about what my neices and nephews are growing up to see or be involved in. So far they say that it is stupid. I am so glad I was born back in the good "old days". Not that we didn't see violence but most of it was on t.v. People have no concience now as is proved by them taking pictures and videos and posting them. Sad to think that they think this is normal.

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That is what scares me the most....that the violence is considered normal.... The video games that the children play are more violent every game and it is considered good fun?

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This is a good topic. I think the fights are much worse than when I was a kid.......way back when!! I do wonder if the video, techno world we live in might have a lot to do with it.....its just so sad to hear of all the violence........guns, knives, all of it.

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I have been out of high school for 20 yrs. The girl fights are just as mean and violent as they were when I went to school.

Except for one thing...The hair that ends up on the floor is fake most of the time...

The first REAL fight I saw was my freshman year in high school. This poor girl`s hair was in the fists of the other girl.. I was mortified! OUCH!

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I also graduated in 1974 and I don't recall ever seeing a girl fight in all my years in school. Once or twice boys would fight and the teachers would break it up, but that's it.

Back then, if you were a girl, you just didn't fight...it just wasn't done. We made catty remarks, but fighting? Absolutely NOT! Fighting was unladylike. From the most wealthy to the poorest, black or white, all the girls understood that fighting was socially unacceptable.

I don't know what the problem is with girls today. Are they not being taught to behave like ladies? Are parents afraid to be parents and instill discipline? Have they seen so much violence on TV and movies that they think it's acceptable?

Maybe it's a combination of all three.

Seriously, I am appalled at how many, many young people act and talk...sometimes I think it's just my age, but I'm only 51. And my boys are only in their 20's, so it wasn't THAT long ago that I had teenagers.

I still believe in parental discipline, respect for elders and teachers, and an occasional swat on the backside for unacceptable behavior.

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I only saw one girl fight in school and it only lasted for a minute. What gets me is that not only are the girl fights more violent than the boys, but they are quite often staged or set up and it is one against several. And they are over stupid things, like gossip or clothes.

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Yes they all fight! I had a oy come up to me and say he didn't want to tell on a specific girl because he did not want to get beat up. Then she growled from her seat at me and started pounding the table and screaming at me plus destroying school property. It was funny not scary to me how unlady like she was acting. But it is getting to the point that it is not safe for teachers either. I agree with the fact that desensetization of violence through video games and tv do not help, but I always had my parents to answer to, where are theirs? Video games and tvs are not babysitters, nor a family unit.

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I have been spending lots of time in middles school lately with the dollhouse building projects and though it is "in the news" the fights and even the things that seem to cause them seems about the same as when I was in school in the early 60's. One thing for sure girls swear alot more and have a far raunchier swear word vocabulary than we did.

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I would have to say that yes girls fight worse then the boys do. I graduated high school 10 years ago and I seen more girl fights then I did boy fights. As for where the parents are, parents are more afraid of them then they are of their parents. Parents have ZERO control over their kids now because children are taught about Child Services in schools right from the get go. I heard my friends 6 year old say to her "if you don't let me go I will call Children's Aid and tell them you hit me." I was shocked. All this over spending the night at a friends house on a school night. I have seen girl fights that happen in my townhouse complex and they are horrible. A whole bunch of girls ganged up on one poor girl and she got really hurt. I don't know what the world is coming to. But it makes me afraid for my children.

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Sometimes I think parents say they are afraid to discipline their kids because of govenment interference but it is just an excuse to be lazy and irresponsible. The parent has resorted to hitting and the child to threatening?

If a family has reached to point where kids speak to their parents this was, discipline is clearly LONG OVERDUE. You can't let a kid get away with everything for years and then expect that when they are 6 or 7 they will suddenly start to honor and respect you or themselves for that matter.

My kids all knew that we expected them to mind us by the time they could talk. Our behavior expectations where (and are) clear, consistent and predictable and developmentally appropriate. We simply did not allow temper tantrum or whining. We pick our battles, we are willing to discuss issues and listen to their opinions on things but when we say no we mean it and the topic is CLOSED until we (the adults) feel it is time to revisit it. At 12 year old can not go to a movie he wants to see or stay out past a certain time but we will also say you will be allowed to do this when you are, say, 14.

I have four sons, they are age 12-32 and they are far from perfect. But never once have I have a screaming match with or threatened one or been threatened by any of them. I honestly would die of a broken heart if one of my children had ever said they hated me and called my a vulgar name. I can not even imagine it happening.

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Sometimes I think parents say they are afraid to discipline their kids because of govenment interference but it is just an excuse to be lazy and irresponsible. The parent has resorted to hitting and the child to threatening?

If a family has reached to point where kids speak to their parents this was, discipline is clearly LONG OVERDUE. You can't let a kid get away with everything for years and then expect that when they are 6 or 7 they will suddenly start to honor and respect you or themselves for that matter.

My kids all knew that we expected them to mind us by the time they could talk. Our behavior expectations where (and are) clear, consistent and predictable and developmentally appropriate. We simply did not allow temper tantrum or whining. We pick our battles, we are willing to discuss issues and listen to their opinions on things but when we say no we mean it and the topic is CLOSED until we (the adults) feel it is time to revisit it. At 12 year old can not go to a movie he wants to see or stay out past a certain time but we will also say you will be allowed to do this when you are, say, 14.

I have four sons, they are age 12-32 and they are far from perfect. But never once have I have a screaming match with or threatened one or been threatened by any of them. I honestly would die of a broken heart if one of my children had ever said they hated me and called my a vulgar name. I can not even imagine it happening.

My four boys also never called me names, swore at me, etc. They knew what behavior was expected of them and I didn't tolerate any nonsense. I ran a tight ship. I learned early on that with several children, you HAVE to..otherwise they would run amok.

I agree that you can't spend years being lenient and not disciplining your children, then when they are out of control try to keep them in line. You have to take parenting seriously from the time your children are born.

Sadly, it seems fashionable these days to have a baby at a very young age. These kids are not even grown themselves...how in the world do they expect to raise a child?

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It's not even the kids threatening any more....my sister & her husband owned a little general store back east and were in constant terror of child protective services, because adults at the school the kids went to kept threatening to call them because the children helped in the store at age appropriate duties.

This is a family who is so close, they spend more time with each other than non-family members and the ages are 26 to 19. Even if an extended family member says something they don't like, those kids will close rank and support each other and their parents! But they are all very responsible, because they were expected to help out.

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It's not even the kids threatening any more....my sister & her husband owned a little general store back east and were in constant terror of child protective services, because adults at the school the kids went to kept threatening to call them because the children helped in the store at age appropriate duties.

I agree. One of my neighbours said that my 4 year old son was too young to help me with the non breakable dishes and threatened childrens aid on me. My kids do as they are told and don't push thier luck with me. With their father that is a different story. They will push their luck with him because they know that he will give in. As I heard in a movie once Daddy's mean fun, but Mommy means business.

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Back when I was in highschool (I graduated in 1960) "girl fights" were rare (only "those" girls descended to physical fighting); they were ugly, brutal & violent and I overheard one of the PE coaches commenting to another teacher they'd rather break up a fight between boys than girls any day.

I'm not going to go into parenting skills (or lack thereof). One of our children was apparently born with bipolar disorder with psychotic features (his case study is one that has defined the field of pediatric psychiatry) and the elementary school principal finally sic'd Protective Services on us when he began acting out in school. The only useful information we got back then was from the one psychiatrist we were referred to who told us that back then children were not diagnosed for psychiatric disorders, but it might help to think of our son in the same terms as a big jungle cat, and imagine we were trying to discipline a lion or a tiger. We were able to keep him at home until just before he turned 13...

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Violence is up all over - both girls and boys. But it's far worse now than it was back in the 50's and 60's when I went to school and college. I can't believe the news some days. Murder and meyhem. All over. Worse each day. What is the matter with people nowadays? Doesn't anyone teach them what is right from wrong anymore? Or is it becoming the norm? In that case I am glad to be rural and living in the sticks!

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Grrrrrr.....I must have been really lucky I don't remember any fights boys or girls at my school, I graduated 1994. I did see a lot more girl on girl verbal attacks. I know in my daughters school there have been fights, the halls are monitered by video cameras. My daughter has been picked on by groups of girls but never in a fight. I know it is more violent now days, so I volenteer at my daughters school so I can be aware of how the kids are behaving, better to understand my daughter.

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It really does come down to how they are parented..in most instances. I always told both my girls that if you are ever in a situation that you are going to get in a fight (meaning someone is going to pound them into the ground)..Fight back..Fight back with all your might. Do not lay down and take it. I would not get mad at them for the consequences at school for that scenario.

They have zero tolerance in our schools..so if you are the victim and you fight back..you get suspended too.

But if I found out they were the aggressor in the situation..they would be in HUGE trouble with me. That is not tolerated in my house at all.

Fortunately Chelsea has never had to deal with it and nothing has happened with Natalie..Nat is everyone`s friend.

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I agree. One of my neighbours said that my 4 year old son was too young to help me with the non breakable dishes and threatened childrens aid on me. My kids do as they are told and don't push thier luck with me. With their father that is a different story. They will push their luck with him because they know that he will give in. As I heard in a movie once Daddy's mean fun, but Mommy means business.

Obviously, there are situations where CPS needs to be called...children are being battered and abused. In other cases, there are busybodies who like to stir up trouble. My kids all had their assigned jobs at home...you have to teach them responsibility, discipline, and how to be a productive member of society...and you can't do that by indulging their every whim and pampering and coddling them...they are not pets!

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Girl fights are more unfair...scratching, biting, hair pulling...though the only girl fight I ever got into was with my twin sister. Amazingly enough we are so close now, that we've grown up, and I mean that grown up physically and maturity. ONLY 11 more days til I get to see her again! I live in Texas and she lives in North Carolina.

As for the child protective services issue...I'm not afraid to discipline my kids, though with my boys who both have ADHD, one extremely severe, and the other with either bi-polar disorder or maybe Asperger's autism, we don't know and are trying desperately to find out. Just telling them NO doesn't work...for some reason they just don't get it. Hubby and I have been screamed at, told I Hate You. I've been hit and kicked at. He's been cursed at, called every name in the book, this was in a 2-3 hour screaming tantrum by the one we don't know what's going on.

I've had to deal with CPS because of the boys and me (I have bi-polar disorder and an anxiety disorder)...it's not fun, but SOMETIMES they CAN help. I would love to have kids who are more like things were when I was growing up, but it's never going to happen. And the sooner my hubby realizes that...we'll all be alot happier. Maybe I can help him understand...I think sometimes if the boys weren't from my first marriage it would be easier.

If you read this...say a little prayer for us...I have seen miracles happen before...

Terri

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It is begining to get horrible..

A very dear Friend of ours was stabbed this week.. as a result of a girl teenage fight.

He went to speak to the Father of the other girl and was stabbed by the Father.!

This really upsets me.!

kellee

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I am sorry to hear about your friend!! My daughter have witnessed her first girl fight at school and it shook her up pretty bad too!! She said she hopes she never gets in a fight with anyone.

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When I was doing school health the weapon of choice amongst the HS girls was the boxcutters with the break-off blades.

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