How to be a good wife 1950's style

[redneck princess]

A friend shared this with me, and I thought I would share it with you. DH thinks this is a good idea :lol: .

I'm link challenged, so I'm hoping it works. Enjoy!

http://iws.ccccd.edu/grooms/goodwife.htm

[heidiiiii]

ROFL!

That was what my Mom`s life was like. UGH!

I do many things that some people would call archaic but that is how I was taught and I like to do them. 2x a week I will drive Fred his dinner, hot from the oven. Now in 1950s I would have probably had to do it every day of the work week.

But heck.. he cleans the kitty litter and washes all the dirty laundry. He deserves the very best..LOL

Rub his feet...LOL Mine first!

[Anna]

:lol: Oh well, some things I do, some I don't but it is my choice WHEN to do them so to speak, as far as the de-clkuttering??? Nope, ain't gonna' happen anytime soon LOL. I live here too...

But then again, as far as the bottom floor, that is most of the time tidy, ie when hubby isn't away on business trip because that is when I sort of use the living room floor for whatever project I am up to... It is so much closer to the shed and outside for those messy parts like sanding, sawing and..

Hugs

[wenlaine]

My first thought after reading the article, how many women were beaten or chastised or worse for not having everything exactly as the husband expected. What happened if the children weren't the quietest at the dinner table or his favorite drink wasn't ready for him? I shudder to think!

A clean house, and a meal prepared and makeup and a ribbon in my hair, well, my DH would surely think something was wrong!

[uppitycats]

Yep, describes my mother to a "T". Exactly how she ran our household.

Not me! :lol:

[ilovecats]

I've read this somewhere before. What a load of crap! LOL.... B)

I would never be subserviant to a man like that. I say marriage is a partnership not a dictatorship and I am nobody's servant/slave/less important being. These days that mindset just doen't fly. I would never have fit into the time frame where this frame of mine was the norm. In this day and age when women work hard in the work place and have demands on our time and are tired and put upon thruout the work day it just wouldn't cut it to have to come home and act this way. Burn those textbooks I say! LOL!!!!!

In case you couldn't tell I have strong feelings on the subject...lol...a big phooey and raspberry at the idea of it!!!!!!!! :spar: :lol:

Thanks for the laugh so early in the morning!

[PATBIDLACK]

ve read this somewhere before. What a load of crap! LOL....

I would never be subserviant to a man like that. I say marriage is a partnership not a dictatorship and I am nobody's servant/slave/less important being. These days that mindset just doen't fly. I would never have fit into the time frame where this frame of mine was the norm. In this day and age when women work hard in the work place and have demands on our time and are tired and put upon thruout the work day it just wouldn't cut it to have to come home and act this way. Burn those textbooks I say! LOL!!!!!

In case you couldn't tell I have strong feelings on the subject...lol...a big phooey and raspberry at the idea of it!!!!!!!! :spar: B)

Thanks for the laugh so early in the morning!

You said it. Our attitude is probably why the incident of devorce has risen. We progressed in our attitudes but most men didn't :lol:

[Just One More]

I graduated high school in 1955. I think the way it was supposed to work was if you treated your husband like he was king, he would respond and you would be treated like a queen. Unfortunately it didn't work that way. I saw a plaque once that said " The best thing a father can do for his children is love their mother". I went by the "rules". It didn't work. Of course now there are really no rules and divorce is still 50% of all marriages. What a world we live in.

[Wolfie]

That was the way of life then......and for those of use born in those early years, it STILL is a way of life in many ways......those values were drilled into us, and it's hard to let go of most of them.......yep, times have changed, but many of us seem to have some of those things imprinted in our brains......

[tcmorrison]

Remember, in 1954, women didn't work once they got married and had kids. My hubby thinks like this. However on the days I go to work, I don't cook, HE does. With no complaints, he volunteers.

Terri

[dryermichelle]

For the time of 1950-1970's that was how everything was. The wife stayed home totake care of house and kids. Since more women are in the workforce now than ever before. This really doesn't apply. Now it's whoever gets home first does the cooking or ordering out. Kids are so busy nowadays that sometimes no one is home to do anything. Housework can be put off for the weekends. Or late night, can't sleep manic clean up. Sometimes, the early generation had it great is some areas. Like More time for housework, crafting. But not in others- no rights to work any job, no own money to spend. In some cases, no complaints. My mom is in her 60's and was a housewife, then a breadwinner due to a divorce. Then, she met and remarried a wonderful modern man who loved her for her. Strong-mind,opinionated person. So she done both sides of that era. I grew up to work in the late 1980's to present. And we have evolved into a more equal marriage. That is first one home, decides the meal, what kid does what in homework, chores. Some days, it's me, other days it's my DH. But we value family over housework. So our house ain't that clean to the white glove test. But it is clean clutter for the most part. That 1950's era good wife guide is not going to work at my house. Michelle

[tracibobs]

nope not me at all i love my hubby to death but no way will i work my self crazy at work then come home and treat him like a king. when i was a house wife and did not work though the house was kept spotless i was once told you could eat off of my bathroom floor it was that clean dinner was always on the table at five and when he came home there was clean clothes and towle waiting for him in the bathroom. now keep in mind i was raised by my grandmother so i was raised as she was and that was not so bad. now that i work now i just have no time to do all tjhose things but belive it or not i do miss it.

Traci

[texasbuilder]

When I was in high school my best friend lived in apartment! I was fascinated with the apartment (I lived in a house) but more with his mom who wore high heeled shoes all the time, everyday.

Jerry

[cheherzad]

I got a big kick out of this in that I was born in 1947 and grew up with the world revolving around dad's needs. I just finished a neat book called "Keeping the House" by Ellen Baker. It jumps back and forth between the 1950's, 1890's, and 1940's. Each chapter begins with a snippet from a popular women's magazine on how a housewife should properly keep a home. It also centers on a big old victorian mansion where much of the story takes place.

A little addendum here. When I was in the 8th grade at Our Lady of the Rosary elementary school, we received a rather terse note to take home to our mothers. The general idea was that mothers picking up their children should not enter the school grounds wearing pants. (!)

[heidiiiii]

My Mother was a 1940s housewife.

One thing that she tainted me with was this: "If your husband works outside of the home and you do not, all of the house work (bills, cleaning, shopping, cooking, gift buying, kids) is YOUR responsibility.*

She should have never said that too me because it still is in me to this day. Fred has long said that it is not true in his eyes. Housework and kids are a hard job and the primary caregiver needs a break.

[grazhina]

The general idea was that mothers picking up their children should not enter the school grounds wearing pants.

My father didn't like my mother wearing pants, though she sometimes did. The network didn't approve of Lucille ball wearing pants on the show, but she liked to, so they compromised on that strange looking outfit that was a pair of pants with a skirt over them that was hitched up in the front. I can't recall what they called that sort of outfit in the 50's. Mary Tyler Moore was allowed to wear pants on the d*** van Dyke (ok.Richard van Dyke, censors, gee whiz) show once a week or something like that, she thought it was ridiculous that the network tried to keep Laura in skirts when by that time most young housewives were wearing pants.

DH used to kid me about the line in wedding vows "love honor and obey". I told him the justice didn't say "obey", I remembered noticing that, so nahner,nahner. we got married in '74. He's a very '50's sort of guy, which can make him annoying at times, though lately he's been trying to fit into the 21st century as best he can.

I think the article, or one very much like it, that kicked this topic off was in an old magazine I have laying around. I know I've read it before in print somewhere.

[heidiiiii]

My sister fought with my Dad for the right to be able to wear blue jeans. School had finally allowed it.

I remember when mini skirts came back into fashion when I was in middle school and they were banned! ROFL

Then you had to hang your hands down to your sides and your fingertips had to touch the hem of your skirt..if it didnt..it was too short and you had to go home.

[SallyG]

I remember when mini skirts came back into fashion when I was in middle school and they were banned! ROFL

Then you had to hang your hands down to your sides and your fingertips had to touch the hem of your skirt..if it didnt..it was too short and you had to go home.

As I recall, if my skirt went past my fingertips, the skirt was too LONG...I wore them pretty short and the guys would always knock your books out of your hands so you had to bend down and pick them up. And of course, the ones who were able to grab the back of your bra through your top and unhook it..usually while walking down the crowded hall. Thankfully, the front hook bras came out!

I guess my parents were different in that my father WANTED my mother to work..she was an RN..but she refused! But there was also no dinner on the table, no quiet and neat kids, or a ribbon in her hair! My mother could barely boil water, my brother and I were usually on the rampage, and my mother always seemed to delight in looking her very worst whenever possible.

As a kid, I think I would have loved a bit of that fairy-tale scenario every once in awhile!

[Sarah91]

OMG!! My American Women course teacher gave us that! Its from a magazine. I have the origional. I showed to my boyfriend and he laughed, especially about the dinner part. He wants to be a chef so HE is the one who cooks dinner for Me. The most I can usually manage is Kraft Mac and cheese and toast.

[heidiiiii]

My MIL gave me some great advice for any new wife (or partner) *If you do not like to do a task, do not start doing it. Because you will be stuck with that task for the duration of the relationship.*

My unwanted task was ironing. I know how to do it, I have done it but I never *started* it. Fred does all the ironing. And that is a good thing because he likes to do it.

He is a wrinkle freak.

[ilovecats]

My MIL gave me some great advice for any new wife (or partner) *If you do not like to do a task, do not start doing it. Because you will be stuck with that task for the duration of the relationship.*

My unwanted task was ironing. I know how to do it, I have done it but I never *started* it. Fred does all the ironing. And that is a good thing because he likes to do it.

He is a wrinkle freak.

Once before I got married I unloaded the suitcases from the trunk of my MIL's car. She cautioned me and said "let B...(leaving out name here) do it, if you do that now, you will do it for the rest of your life" "i know how my son is". Well. I didn't listen and ended up being the pack mule, unloader, etc for the rest of my married life while my ex didn't pitch in to help and would rest while i did the work. I was used to being independant and just doing things before I met my ex, but after that, it was all on me, it pissed me off over the years. (i would pack for trips, load the vehicle, unload, unpack while he rested). He eventually copped the attitude that I was female and it was my duty to do wifely chores, cooking etc and LOOK GOOD all the time..well without detailing everything it was the expectation that i I did everything plus work full time in a highly stressful job and make life easier for him. What the.....???? Well that certainly added to the downfall of my marriage, but there were other bigger issues that i won't go into. Anyway, relationships are a funny business...I guess i just really believe in partnership to make things work in this day and age. If i had been a stay at home wife, and if i didn't hate cooking (hehe) i wouldn't feel so rebellious about things. If i didn't have to work then i would definately have felt that my role was to take care of the house and cook and errands and all the stuff that it takes to run a household. I would never have done the "your the king and i'm your subserviant mutt" but i would have worked hard at keeping a good house and i would have enjoyed it. I used to have a clean house well weekly despite the fact that i worked, but now i'm definately not as I once was. My house is cluttered (which i'm growing to hate) and needs a good deep cleaning.

[redneck princess]

I had the day off today and worked on some of the cleaning that was way overdue! I probably would have done more if I didn't get sidetracked by my houses and the forum .

The part about take off his shoes made me laugh, because my husband is a plumber and wears work boots. I would pass out if I had to take those off .

[Jokelly]

Then you had to hang your hands down to your sides and your fingertips had to touch the hem of your skirt..if it didnt..it was too short and you had to go home.

I went to high school in the mid 90s and our rule was that it had to reach at least an inch below your fingertips. We also were allowed no shoes without socks or pantyhose and no shirts without sleeves. The graduating student council members always approved the dress code so every year it was strict because they had to go by it when they went to school. The faculty policed it, too.

My mother was a stay-at-home housewife, but she did not act like this and my dad didn't expect her to. My dad was ahead of his time for having babies in the 70s. He was very hands-on and even did middle of the night feedings because his words are "She had them all day, the least I could do is get up with them in middle of the night." But then he's a baby person and loves everything about them.

My mom got a Betty Crocker cookbook when she got married in 1965 and it's hilarious if you read the tips on the tabs at the beginning of each chapter. I remember reading them to my mom and laughing at them with her. Evidently she never followed the advice, which is very similar to the ones in the link above.

Even today, my dad, a widower who was married just shy of 40 years, advises me to never marry. He hounds me constantly for grandkids, but marriage is not required and looked down upon. Live with the guy, but don't marry him. Not everyone's parents tell them this.

[havanaholly]

I was born ahead of my time; my DM divorced her first husband , my father, when I was very tiny, and moved us back in with her parents and went to work (she was a RN), so my grandparents mostly raised me until I was 7. We moved to S FL at the end of WWII and DM remarried; my stepdad had a daughter 7 years older than I, who stayed with us her senior year of HS and then left for NY & an acting career. Neither my parents nor those of any of my friends acted the way that article protrays; apparently movies like "Pleasantville" are based on the sit-coms from the late '40s & early '50s and that article.

Of course I turned around and married the eldest son of "Betty Crocker", but that's a whole different soap opera...lol

[Deb]

In the backwoods town where I went to jr high, that stuff was still in the Home Ec text book and I didn't think it was anything strange coz that's exactly what my mother did every day. Well, she did until I was 8 and tall enough to reach the stove. That's when she dumped all the cooking and cleaning on me. My ex was of the same mindset. I resented it then and still do now if it's *expected* of me. If I feel like doing it, then I enjoy both. I find cleaning to be good for my soul and cooking is another form of creating, but if I don't feel like doing it, I don't. And if someone demands it of me, they'll quickly hear my opinion about it. Bruce and I have a 50-50 relationship with tasks divided according to who is best at a particular task. He never, ever tells me what to do because he genuinely respects women......and he knows I'd be out the door at the first sign of "me Tarzan, you Jane" behavior.

I've been described as a cross between June Cleaver and Morticia Aadams. <cackle> That's pretty accurate. I'll bake ya a cake if I feel like it, but if I don't and you demand it, I'll smile all the way to the kitchen and use salt instead of sugar.

Deb