Need to vent about a teacher

12 posts in this topic

My 13 yrs old Son, has been having band practice every Tuesday at lunch time, and Fridays after school. Last Tuesday, for whatever reason, he thought it was Wednesday, and forgot to go. The band teacher sent another student outside to get him. The yard teacher on duty, refused to listen and stopped them, and told them not to go in. My Son and his friend just went inside a different door and attended anyway, as teacher #1 was waiting for them. After school, teacher number #2 punished him, as she found out he did indeed attend practice, for not following her orders and disobeying her-(which he did, and I understand that) so she made him call the answering machine and leave a message, in her presence, saying exactly what I've just wrote,(so there is no room for error or lies about the situation here) stating that because of the disobedience, he would not be allowed to attend band practice on Friday either. Teacher #1 did not stick up for him, even though, he sent for him, and even though, he's a straight A student, who has never, ever had a problem in school, of any kind. What really angers me is not the punishment in itself, it's the fact that teacher #2 actually set him up to fail here, by disrespecting and overriding the first teacher's order, and my son's commitment to attend band, she put him smack in the middle of a no-win paradox. This whole things feels like entrapment to me. In order to obey her, he would have had to disobey the other teacher, and neglect his primary responsibility. My Son insists I keep my mouth shut and let it go, as he says he'll just never forget practice again, and he claims saying anything will cause him more problems, as apparently this sort of stuff happens to other children all the time. Should there not be more communication between teachers of the same school? What kind of sense of fair play are these people teaching our children? Do you see why I'm so irked? It's just not fair how this went down.

Thanks for letting me blow off steam, you're my only ears, as my Son has already put it behind him. He's the sorta boy who'll accept lumps even if they aren't deserve, just to preserve the peace, and that's just not fair, from where I'm standing.

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Two teachers in a Minnesota school district got suspended for disrspectful behavior to a student. A different story but it sounds like these 2 teachers need to have someone in the school district inquire to the behavior. Have you talked to other parents? Are they as frustrated as you are? Seems to me this is something that the parents should approach the school board in as a group so that individual students are not singled out later for further harrassment. It's hard to do the right thing. We want our children to elarn tod efend themselves, but at the same time abusive behavior should not be tolerated. Good luck. Rita

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Yah i had alot of that in school, when my parents complained, the Principal stuck up for the teachers and well lets not go into what he said to me. Sometimes it is better to let it go.

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The first teacher should have send a note out to the second teacher.

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Sounds like the same incompetent teachers I had to deal with when I was in school. I don't know about Canadian law, but this is a clear case of harrassment. The teachers put kids in no-win situations and ignore parents protests, but the mere threat of suing usually changes their attitude. I was attacked by a student in the 8th grade and got suspended for-wait for it-being attacked! After my parents told the dean to get his lawyer on the phone the school cleared my record and apologized.

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Sounds like a school I went to. A little background info, I was the kid that everyone picked on because I was heavier set then normal. Well one kid decided that I needed to go through a window in the corridor. After he pushed me through the window, I was sent to the principals office and I had to pay for the window because I should have known better then to have gone through it.

Some teachers in some schools do not care about kids. My daughters earrings were stolen right out of her ears on her very first day of school and nothing was done about. I now say very loudly in front of all the other parents when I drop my kids off at school that I am removing my daughters earrings so nobody will steal them again and get away with it.

On the other hand there are the wonderful teachers out there that make life wonderful for their students. My hat is off to those teachers as I think they deserve a medal.

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The only time I made it a point to go in and complain was when teachers would use my daughter to control the unruly kids in their class by seating her next to them constantly... It wasn't my daughter's job to help these troublemakers, and I made sure she was always removed from those situations.

But generally I've learned that unless the actions or behaviors are directly affecting your child's ability to learn on a daily basis, it's best to use the circumstances to teach your kids that there are lousy adults in the world.

Middle and high school are the best opportunities for kids to learn how adults tick and how to best handle them... with that outlook, it really puts the situations into perspective for the kids and, at least for my daughter, it's changed how she approached these teachers... She doesn't see herself as beaten down and miserable, she's figured out that most of these people are miserable themselves and mostly she just feels sorry for them now.

I think understanding that adults aren't perfect, and that quite a few are pretty crummy gives kids a little more empowerment, even in relatively helpless situations, and probably better prepares them to recognize these people and situations later in life - and maybe the confidence to better identify and cope with it when they do have some authority in similar situations.

Unfortunately, I agree with your son, probably best to let it go, but maybe you could press for some insight from him as to why this teacher was so quick to control them and have such a tantrum about it... It would probably make him feel better to think about what a nutcase the teacher is.

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Wow.

I can see her not believing them that they should be going in the building, but to punish them for disobedience in that manner is just stupid.

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I'm not saying I think anyone was wrong or right, only that there are always two sides to a story. And the first teacher should have sent a note so that the 2nd teacher knew the kids weren't making up excuses for what they were doing. I know you're upset, but the second teacher probably had a reason based on prior experience, to not let kids leave unless she's sure where they're really going. You son is showing great maturity..he made a mistake by forgetting practice and I'll bet he doesn't do it again!

It's tough for parents to understand, when they know their kid behaves, but sometimes the entire school population has to pay for the behavior of the trouble makers, by losing privileges. For instance, where I work now, no one is allowed to have their cell phone on, because someone once recorded credit card numbers on theirs. They are not allowed to have drinks at their station because so many people knocked over open cups on the new carpet or on their computers. Same idea, everyone lost privileges because a few people abused them. Fair ? No, but the only way a situation like that can be handled.

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I'd say your Son has more class and breeding than teacher #2.Good for you to have raised such a responsible person.Yes, we get lumps that we don't deserve in this life

and the ability to overlook "nincompooedness"(I do make up words) will hold him in good stead for the future.Sigh...I must add that my wish would be to talk to this teacher and let her know that I never expect this sort of entrapment to ever happen again.But I

would probably respect my Son's point of view.Sigh................ :)

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