Deb Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 <quiet sob> This is what my hair looks like today. Actually, there's about another foot or so of it that doesn't show in the picture. My hair is normally straight but I'd just taken it out of the braid. This afternoon I'm going to go have it turned into this: It's about the last thing I want to do but I just can't take care of it anymore. It hurts my hands to much to brush it and braid it and the weight of it hurts my neck and head. On the bright side, I'll probably lose about two pounds. It's just hair but I've been crying for days. That's why I decided to just go get it over with today and try to move on. I'll have them braid it up tight for Locks of Love and then close my eyes and hope that I don't just fall apart when I hear the scissors. I couldn't sleep which is why I'm online so early today. I need my forum family support. Deb (the weepy one today) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corwin Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 Oh, deb. Youll look fin either way. Is that's another pierce in the picture? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntDee Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 From someone who has very thick, coarse and unruly hair and has always wanted to be able to have long locks, you'll love being able to just shampooing, using the blow dryer and getting on to more fun thing in life. Whenever I tell my haridreser that I envy people with long hair, she tells me to thank my luck stars I got what I got. No fuss, no muss. Just think, you'll look much younger too with shorter hair Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nechee Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 I used to have waist length hair. Actually if I pulled it down enough I could sit on it. One day I got so angry at my hair that I took scissors to it myself and then went to the hairdresser and said "fix what I did". It was about 2 inches long all the way around after that. After I cut my hair I was so upset that I actually did it. But then I realiized I was not going through an entire bottle of Shampoo in a week. When I wanted to colour my hair I did not have to buy 2 or 3 boxes to cover all my hair, and my headaches went away super quick. And even if you do not like the haircut after you have it, just keep repeating the mantra "hair grows". I have gotten through some pretty nasty hair cuts saying that. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heidiiiii Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 ((((BIG HAIR HUGS)))) I am here with you Deb. It will be okay. After a few days you will learn to love the cut. What does Bruce think about all this? And yes, if you dislike it, grow it out and try a different hairdo! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anna Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 Oh sweetie I can really understand you feelings about cuting your hair >handing Deb a tissue> but then again as you said, you will be able to focus on the healing part better not having to battle with the hair on top of the pain!!! And I know it is little comfort right now, but someone else will really feel blessed with your locks. Sending lots of hugs and offers a shoulder to cry on whenever you might need it!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deb Posted October 23, 2009 Author Share Posted October 23, 2009 . What does Bruce think about all this? He's being really supportive about it. He found me crying in the bathroom the other night while I was trying to brush it and just put his arms around me and let me cry it all out. He said that he's willing to shampoo, brush and braid it for me but I can't see that as a way of life for either one of us and besides, that wouldn't change the problem of carrying the weight of it. I've decided that long hair is like rings in a tree. I can chart almost 20 years of my life by looking at sections of my hair. Where I was, who I was with, lovers that came and went, big and small life changes............I can take a section of my hair in my hands and hold that time again. I'll still have the memories but it's hard to let go of the physical part of me that was there and that came with me into a new life. I honestly don't care how I look, it's just letting go of something that has been such a major part of who I am for so long. And yes Corwin, that's a new Pierce in the background. It's sitting on the guest bed waiting for me to take it down to the studio. I'm starting on it on Monday. Deb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heidiiiii Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 I know you are donating your hair but I think you should have a very tiny section kept for you. Braid it, put a bow around it, and save it. Like you said...that is your history. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anna Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 I know you are donating your hair but I think you should have a very tiny section kept for you. Braid it, put a bow around it, and save it. Like you said...that is your history. Yep, I think that is something that you might consider to do just as to be able to go over the history in your mind's eye . And give that man of yours a big hug from me for him being himself OK?!? HUGS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shy Spirit Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 Deb, it's very sad, and very hard to part with such a treasure ... but you are more precious and much more lovely than your hair. Someone else needs those tresses more than you do - what had become a painful burden to you, will be a wish come true to someone else. I wish I could go with you - I'd hold your hand and tell you silly stories to distract you while it was cut. I'll be thinking of you, and hoping you feel the benefit of your loss more than the loss itself, straight away. Be brave, my friend - if you didn't get it done, that would be the unkindest cut of all. I just read Heidi's post (which she made while I was composing the above). That's a wonderful idea! You could put some in a locket, or make a hair bracelet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmgervais Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 Oh Deb, I know that you are feeling very sad about your hair right now, but I can tell from what you write that you know that it is the right thing to do to get it cut. Be brave, get it cut, then cry again if you need to when you get home! Sometimes we all need a really good cry just to let out all of the feeling, perhaps unspoken, of what is going on in our lives. I know I do. And, as soon as I read your first post here, I was going to suggest that you take a small section of your hair, braid it, then cut it off to keep for yourself. Then, once the pain has passed, you can look back on it and remember all the years that it took to grow it and all the memories that go with those years. (I have a tiny of my hair from 20 years ago that I gave to my boyfriend (now husband) when we were in separate cities for 4 months.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grazhina Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 I used to have long golden blonde tresses down to my waist, til I decided I just couldn't stand the blow drying any more, and I had my hair cut to a more managable shoulder length. My daughter, who was a baby at the time, used to tug at my hair while she sucked on her bottle. The day my hair was cut, she was laying in my arms, and reached out idly to grab my hair, and it wasn't there. She just looked at me and went on sucking her bottle. Shortly after that she discovered her own golden locks and started twirling them. A couple years later I had my hair cut to around chin length. I don't miss it one bit. Once you're over the "trauma", you won't miss all that reaching, brushing and blow drying either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jo Med Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 Deb, I'm so sorry that you are sad about losing your long hair but I hope the new "do" will cheer you up and that you will love your new look. Sympathy hug being uploaded Jo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
what2craftnow Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 Oh boy Deb ~ I sure know just how you feel. I used to have hair past my butt for YEARS, but it really did not become me much after a certain point in my life, so I opted for slightly longer than shoulder length hair, and have not regretted it since. It is a tough change to adjust to for sure, but for some people who are dealing with no hair ~ your sacrifice will give them such huge smiles and a new confidence in themselves they would not otherwise have had. The sum of your beauty is made up of far greater things than your hair ~ you are special in so many ways, inside and out! Here's to the "new rings" that will take shape as your hair grows anew. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muriel Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 I decided to cut my hair one day too, from bum length to chin length. I still have my braid somewhere! You could always ask them to braid one thick one with most of the hair and one thin one for you to keep. Hugs to you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deb Posted October 23, 2009 Author Share Posted October 23, 2009 Thanks everyone for all the encouragement. I really needed that badly today. I'd planned on asking for a small braid for myself so I have a reminder of it. My mother in law asked for a lock too so she could put it with my baby picture. I'm ready to walk out the door now......first stop is my appointment with my rheumatologist and then it's on to the stylist. <whimpering> It's a little easier knowing y'all will be holding my hand long distance. Bruce will be there with spare tissue so I think I'm all set. <deep breath> I can do this. Deb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anna Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 Afcourse you can do this Deb, and I will be there along with you be sure of it! Good thing you have Bruce there along with you as well. Lots and lots of hugs coming your way!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ilovecats Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 Deb, so sorry you have to do this. Once it's gone, it will be easier for you to manage, but definately take the time to mourn, then embrace the newer, easier to manage hairstyle. Hugs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muriel Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 You can do it!! :thumb: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just One More Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 I have never had long hair my entire life. In fact, I think I've had the same hairstyle for about 65 years. all my pictures are the little longer than Dutch boy look with bangs. Now I've just decided to let mine grow, not to where I can sit on it but just long enough to tie it up. Everyone says my hair looks so nice the way it's been and they think it's so easy. It's not. It's wash it every day, stand bent over with a boar bristle brush and blow dryer that almost deafens me just to get the wave out. Then when it's almost straight, shape it around my face and spray it to stay that way. In the summer with humidity that's about an hour if I'm lucky. If it makes it through the day I try and sleep so I won't mess it up and maybe get a free hair day. Right now it's at that awful length, too long to hang and to short to tie back. I don't have thick or heavy hair so that's no problem like you are having. This time I don't care how ugly it gets before it's long enough to tie back. I can always cut it but growing it back takes a year for just six inches. If I was like you and getting headaches etc, I would cut it just long enough to be comfortable. Short hair doesn't just look good on it's own. It takes styling too. Luckily I can do it myself and not spend a lot of money at beauty shops. I just don't want to any more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MiniMadWoman Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 Deb, I'm feeling your sorrow, but know you'll be in a much better place! So . . . HOW DID IT GO? WE WANT TO SEE!! BIG HUGS!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Esther Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 I've cut and donated my hair to Locks of Love a few times. My hair grows about 4 or 5 inches in a year. I usually cut it when I get tired of taking care of it. When it's shorter I use way less shampoo and conditioner. Hope you love your new do! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shy Spirit Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 I'm feeling for you, Deb. I hope your night isn't too rough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SallyG Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 I, too, had mid-thigh length hair for many years...extremely thick and curly. It was very heavy and I developed bad headaches when I put it in a ponytail. I finally had it all cut off into a pixie style. Initially I was horrified at how I looked, but everyone told me how cute it was and that I actually looked much better with short hair! So I've kept the pixie and it's actually a lot of fun...and takes about 2 minutes max to dry and style! Of course it grows out quickly and the stylist is not cheap, but it's worth the money to have the ease of hair care. I'm dying to see how you look in your new haircut!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deb Posted October 24, 2009 Author Share Posted October 24, 2009 It's done. Bruce took me out to my favorite chinese place for dinner afterwards. It's hard to cry over good chinese food. We stopped at the store on the way home and he went off to get something in another aisle.........and couldn't find me when he came back. He didn't recognize me. I didn't cry a whole lot but I'm not done yet. I closed my eyes and had her hand the braids to Bruce who put them in the side compartment of my purse so I haven't actually seen the my hair separated from me yet. I think I'll wait till tomorrow at least to do that since it's going to be the hardest part. But the new cut looks okay. Bruce likes it and both he and the stylist said that I look younger. They may be right coz a clerk at the store called me "miss" instead of "ma'am". I'm a blonde again and there's way more blonde than grey. Bruce kinda freaked out about the blonde coz he's never seen me as anything but a brunette or transitioning from a brunette. The surprising part is that my hair is curly. Who knew? It's never been curly before even when it was short. The stylist said that it may be "in shock" and I think she's right. I picked up a blow dryer and a round brush on the way home and I'll soon have it trained to be straight again. The really strange part is that I started out with the picture I showed you guys and said that was the way I wanted it cut. And it began that way but the natural shape of my hair kept pushing that style out of place so I told the stylist to work with it and go with the shape that best suits my hair and face. <pondering> Apparently I only have two hairstyles in life coz my hair is *exactly* the same style that it was when I wore it short in my 20's. Oh well. It suits me and that's what matters. I always did like that style and it's easy to maintain. I can feel a difference already with the weight gone so I think this will be much more comfortable. Traumatic, but comfortable. Thanks again for all the support, my dear, dear friends. I knew that you were there with me and it made it easier. Deb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.