Roxxie Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 HOLIDAY EATING TIPS 1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Holiday spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls. 2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare. You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think It's Christmas! 3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat. 4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission. 5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Holiday party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello? 6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog. 7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again. 8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day? 9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards. 10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate and wine in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!" Have a great holiday season!! Merry Christmas !!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 These are very wise tips....... Personally I prefer my mashed potatoes made with whipping cream! I will not eat them unless they are.......LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janet Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 You made me laugh, Roxxie! Excuse me while I go get some more gravy for my frosted Christmas cookies! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
havanaholly Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 Oh, THANK YOU! for sharing that, it's right up there with "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" as a favorite holiday giggle for me. Now I can go smiling through my day with visions of sugarplums and Christmas buffet tables dancing in my head! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sherry Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 I love it! But you need to add one more: Eat all the stuffed turkey you want. There's a reason it's called stuffed. As far as gravy on your stuffing, see rule 3. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muriel Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 I always have my mash and gravy as a volcano! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
minifan Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 Eat cookies, life is short... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
havanaholly Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 Food eaten standing up has fewer calories than food eaten sitting down Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KathieB Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 My sister's mother-in-law, a lovely Greek lady, assured sis that she could eat all of the powdered sugar drenched cookies she wanted. "No calories," she said in her broken English. "Pure butter." "No, problem, pure butter," has become family shorthand for "go ahead, make a pig of yourself." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
havanaholly Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 That sounds like my Scottish grandmother!lol I no longer have the list, but somewhere there's a list of when calories don't count. In addition to food eaten standing up I think that food eaten with fingers doesn't count. I wish I could remember the rest! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 Another treat I've really been indulging in now is home made donuts. Baked and/or fried. they are wonderful and yummy, now if only I could really decide in my head to cut the receipe down.........and day olds are not that great! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merry Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 Another treat I've really been indulging in now is home made donuts. Baked and/or fried. they are wonderful and yummy, now if only I could really decide in my head to cut the receipe down.........and day olds are not that great! Oh yes!!! Love your holiday eating tips, Roxy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LLyn M. Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 OOooo, I just thought of an important tip: There are no calories if the cookies are broken-they all leak out! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KathieB Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 If you want a really long chuckle, check this list. I especially like the reassurance that if you're holding a cup of punch in your right hand, anything you eat with your left hand doesn't count. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
havanaholly Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 Thank you, Kathie! THAT's the list I was trying to remember! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doogster Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 These are very wise tips....... Personally I prefer my mashed potatoes made with whipping cream! I will not eat them unless they are.......LOL And, of course, Yukon Gold taters. The only tater for a mash. I have got to try the whipsy cream for mashed taters. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotty Posted December 21, 2010 Share Posted December 21, 2010 "mmshejbg udhwoeh" - sorry can't speak my mouth is full. Translation - great tips Roxie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roxxie Posted December 21, 2010 Author Share Posted December 21, 2010 OOooo, I just thought of an important tip: There are no calories if the cookies are broken-they all leak out! This one made me laugh outloud! ha ha ha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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