nuttiwebgal Posted September 3, 2014 Share Posted September 3, 2014 my father was not a good man....he produced 3 legitimate children...1 illegitimate daughter(6 months younger than myself) and he married a girl who was prego to have a 4th child....that son was abused by his mother...so my dad brought him to me to hide him and protect him while he went through court to get custody....of course being a bad person that did not happen and after 3 months...he was given back to his mother who than sold him....yup thats what I said.... he was 3....he is 4 yrs older than my oldest child yesterday while doing some genealogy research on my father I found his obit and there was a comment from my little brother... I contacted the paper and the editor said he would keep both e-mails and see what he could do about getting us in touch.... HOW do I find him on my own??? his comment stated he was looking for his siblings! so he wants to be found? I am so not good at finding anything online so any suggestions would be so helpful! Thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fov Posted September 3, 2014 Share Posted September 3, 2014 A good way to start would be Googling his first and last name (in quotes, e.g. "John Smith") and the place where you last knew he was living. If he has a common name or is very private with his online data it might not help, but sometimes you can find things like a home address, email address, or a Facebook/Twitter page that way. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Selkie Posted September 3, 2014 Share Posted September 3, 2014 Wow Nutti, you surely have come across some life changing info here. I'm not into genealogy but I think KathieB is really good at that and maybe she could give you some pointers. If that funeral home is still in service, it sounds like they are a really good starting point. Not sure how long they keep data on file but they might have billing info and such for who paid for the services, etc. Sometimes they have records of flower shops and gifts that were sent at the time as well as church personnel that might have been involved that might give you leads. Maybe even the MD that signed the death certificate could provide info. Anything related to your father could lead you to your brother even if it means going around in circles to get there. Good luck and I hope what you find, is satisfying for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soapz Posted September 3, 2014 Share Posted September 3, 2014 If the obit was in the paper you could try to take out a local ad there. And like Selkie said, the funeral home might be a good start - if there was a service they sometimes have a book to sign. Also, whoever else was mentioned in the obit might be helpful, so look for these people as well. good luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nuttiwebgal Posted September 3, 2014 Author Share Posted September 3, 2014 thanks all...some good ideas Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Summersethomes Posted September 3, 2014 Share Posted September 3, 2014 you can google him like someone else suggested or you can try facebook and see if he has an account (most people do now a days) they do that on Catfish when they want to try and track down someone...plus if he lives in town he's gotta be in the phone book..you can do a white pages search..that might bring him up) why wont the paper email him and give him your email address? like someone else suggested you can try to contact the funeral home and see if they can give you information on him or any other relatives who might know him. ..good luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L Swearengin Posted September 3, 2014 Share Posted September 3, 2014 When I was looking for my oldest son's God mother, I goggled her name, I found her obituary. (after I stopped crying) I logged onto the guest page and found that her husband had kept it open. I didn't get to find her living, but have contact now with her mom as well her spouse (which I didn't even know she had). The funeral home is a great place to start since they took care of your father. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nuttiwebgal Posted September 3, 2014 Author Share Posted September 3, 2014 since Im sure my sister would not even remember him since he wasnt included in the obit I dont think the funeral home would have info about this young man he was born when my sister was in first grade and my mother moved us 200 miles to get away from him and his life...I am the only one besides my gran who had anything to do with the boy....cuz I had a car and drove to see my gran and he would be there. I recontacted the paper and asked if he would please send my email to his e-mail....but he posted his comment last yr...he may not have same e-mail I think I found him in Ohio and if I dont find e-mail or phone...I will send a card....we shall see.... no facebook....first thing I tried...sigh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shannonc60 Posted September 3, 2014 Share Posted September 3, 2014 I just googled 'genealogy' and got a bunch of (local) sites. We have this one big site in Australia, not sure if it is international, but it is ancestry.com.au. It is used by people to put together their family trees. They have birth, death, marriage info, etc etc so you may be able to glean some more info from sites like that. You could try googling 'genealogy' too and seeing what sites you have over there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KathieB Posted September 3, 2014 Share Posted September 3, 2014 Lynette, I sent you a PM. :hug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nuttiwebgal Posted September 3, 2014 Author Share Posted September 3, 2014 the editor of the obits sent me another e-mail with my brothers e-mail from a yr ago I have sent him a msg and now its a waiting game unless I turn up something else. yall have been very helpful today and I thank you! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deb Posted September 3, 2014 Share Posted September 3, 2014 I was just going to suggest that you talk to Kathie coz she's a genealogy guru and then saw that she'd already contacted you. Oh Lynette, I'm so happy for you. I hope that this young man has good memories of the sweet big sister who loved him and will want to be a part of your life again. You're a very brave lady to do this. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
havanaholly Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 Deb, that may be why he expressed a desire to regain contact with missing family. Lynette, I'm praying for you both. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nuttiwebgal Posted September 4, 2014 Author Share Posted September 4, 2014 he was so young...I do not know what he remembers and what I should tell him of things that I know. gonna play it by ear and not make his life any harder than its been! and he should know he was loved I think sometimes adopted kids grow up thing why didnt my family want me? so if I can bring peace to someone... maybe Ill make some for myself as well. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KathieB Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 Chasing dead people is one thing. Trying to track down a living person takes a different skill set. I did what I could with what Lynette gave me but have come up cold as to her brother. There are websites that will find information about individuals if you have a name and city or at least a state. None of them are free. If you know where the person lives, some cities have real estate tax information on line; that info is accessible to the public. If you have the names of any relatives or known associates the person might be in touch with, they might be easier to track down than your target. The funeral home pretty much prints what someone close to the deceased gives them. They're unlikely to have contact information for anyone other than the person who paid the bill. I don't know if you've done it, Lynette, but if you haven't, you might want to leave a message in the guest book where you saw your brother's message. If that's where he left his message about reconnecting with family, it may be someplace he would check. You probably don't want to advertise your email address in it, so get a new free address for just this purpose. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chesterfieldzoo Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 Yahoo allows you to set up 'dummy' accounts linked to your account just for this kind of thing (or selling stuff) when you don't want to give out your real email, but you don't want multiple accounts. You just delete it when you are done. I hope you get a response to the message you sent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KathieB Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 I just picked up a hint from a member of a genealogy group I belong to. She said: I just wanted to share a weird research tip with you all. When i find persons in my tree who may be in the Facebook age I search for them with our home town. I then send them an inbox message and explain who I am and who i think they are, I have found about 30 cousins between that and the ones i contacted telling me who else is our cousin and finding the wrong people but they just so happened to know someone who may know. Never leave a stone unturned. Someone with a surname the same as your brother may be aware of him and be able to provide a clue for you. This would be a good way to use your proxy email address -- set up a second Facebook account with it. And don't search just for his full name ... he may be using his middle name or initials or a combo of name and initial or even a nickname. People do funny things with their names on Facebook. If he's computer savvy enough to have commented on the newspaper's website, I'm betting he has a Facebook account. As for what to tell him ... it's better to let him ask questions and get the information he wants/needs than drop a load on him. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rodentraiser Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 You might want to check with an adoption organization. I don't know if ALMA is still around or not. This was started by Florence Fisher and it was aimed at helping adopted children find their natural parents. While I understand you want to find your brother, they may have some tips and tricks to help. These people leave no stone unturned and they know them all, believe me. Have you tried census records or telephone directories (if the name isn't too common)? Do you know where he was born? Can you look up any public records? Have you gotten your father's death certificate, because if your brother was listed anywhere in connection with it, there might be an address. Check superpages.com. And I agree, check the internet. Also check images for the name, because one of them might be linked to a page about him. If you know what schools he went to, maybe he played for a team and made the sports pages. Have you checked ancestry.com? Sometimes you can get two free weeks there. I'd check that too and see if he has anything listed under his name. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CheckMouse Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 I hope you find him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparklepuppies Posted September 4, 2014 Share Posted September 4, 2014 I have no tips, but I hope you can find him. Good luck, it'll all work out! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LPCullen Posted September 10, 2014 Share Posted September 10, 2014 Comment back on whatever he commented on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kellee Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 Make a comment on the obit.... hes sure to check it, and maybe even has all comments sent to him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nuttiwebgal Posted September 12, 2014 Author Share Posted September 12, 2014 I did do this and I am also sending a weekly e-mail to his Yahoo e-mail that was given me.... if his yahoo email is anything like mine...my msg may get lost in the mix...so I am going to keep sending till we hook up. also found 2 snail mail address that may be him so I am sending out a couple of cards today.... I am not giving up. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Selkie Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 Sounds like you are on the right track. Time always goes extra slowly when we want something, so patience, while hard to have, is probably the best advice at this stage of the game. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chesterfieldzoo Posted September 12, 2014 Share Posted September 12, 2014 I'm pretty good at research and finding things/people. Let me know if you want me to try. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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