Shareb Posted February 28, 2016 Share Posted February 28, 2016 For the past 3-4 months I've been working steadily on a shadowbox for my mum (much to the disgust of the Pierce). It's 9 rooms and each room contains an ancestor/relative of my mum's. Each square has little things that represent that person - not all in the same scale, but some really important things that should mean a lot to my mum. It's getting down to the wire now - we're flying down to see her and the rest of my family in less than two weeks time. So I'm having to put as much time as I can in, to finish it off. I was talking to my oldest sister yesterday gathering intel for her room! Each of us three sisters is separated by 5 years, so I didn't know my eldest sister overly well. She moved out to nursing school at 16. Anyway, my sister told me that mum is getting worse. Fortunately my sister runs a rest home so is used to caring for the oldies. Mum has dementia and emphysema (from decades of smoking). She hardly walks, is always coughing and choking and forgets that she is sick. Forgets a lot. When I talk to her on the phone I don't get much of that - she seems pretty normal, although one day she did say something that hurt - about how she wouldn't want to come up and see my daughter perform in the Gang Show (Scouts variety show) last year. So all along I've understood that my mum may not appreciate the shadowbox as much as she might have a few years ago. But my sister told me yesterday that she won't appreciate it at all, and that mum has been giving all her stuff away for a while now. The last time we were in Christchurch (Oh yeah, for those of you that know, they had a massive earthquake in 2011 which didn't help anyone!), was two years ago for my sister's wedding. Mum's memory then wasn't great and she gave the kids a doll each from her collection before we came home. ANYWAY...forgive my ramblings. I know that somewhere within my mum she will appreciate and love the thought and effort I have put into this. Luane - your recent post about your parents also gave me pause to thought. Anyway, I have created a new album in the members gallery called Heritage Shadowbox if anyone is keen to have a look. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
havanaholly Posted February 28, 2016 Share Posted February 28, 2016 Rebecca. if your mum is too far gone to appreciate the box, you can keep it as a keepsake of happier days and memories. I think it is turning out marvelously. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KathieB Posted February 28, 2016 Share Posted February 28, 2016 Holly is right, Rebecca. There is a lot of YOU going into this shadow box along with your ancestors. Do keep it close to you and know that although she may not be able to appreciate it, its message in its very existence is that it was created out of love as a gift from your heart to hers. As for not being in scale, don't give it a thought. At first glance it looks like a page from a photo album, with each section telling its own story in its own precious way, with a lovely mix of close-up and distance shots. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
armymom166 Posted February 28, 2016 Share Posted February 28, 2016 What a wonderful gift! You never know what will strike a cord with someone who has dementia. I agree with Holly and Kathie, and I strongly believe that something created out of love is always worth the time. I'm excited to see what the last three sections hold! Hugs to you and your family, I know this is not easy. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shareb Posted February 28, 2016 Author Share Posted February 28, 2016 Thank you ladies for your lovely comments. I'll give it to her but I will be stressing that she should look after it and not give it away!! I'll get my sisters to keep an eye on it too. I'm not worried about scale Kathie - it was always going to be a mix. I'm creating three bedrooms in the last three squares for my two sisters and I. Currently attempting to make a record player and a glass cabinet with a doll collection inside. Phew.....not necessarily easy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
claireliontamer Posted February 28, 2016 Share Posted February 28, 2016 I think it looks fabulous and I'm sure your Mum will appreciate it on one level. I did some dementia awareness training a while ago and they stressed the last part of the brain to be affected is the emotional part. So whereas your Mum may not recognise the significance of all the pieces she will appreciate the kind gesture of someone putting that much love and care into something for her. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shareb Posted February 29, 2016 Author Share Posted February 29, 2016 Thanks for that Claire. She also seems to have a bad memory more with recent stuff than older stuff, I'm doing this to connect on a deep level with her - to show my love but also to show my understanding of who she is and where she has come from. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debra from Olde Cape Cod Posted March 2, 2016 Share Posted March 2, 2016 What if you gave her a large framed picture of it first to see her reaction? Bring the shadowbox with you, and if the reaction is not positive, just bring it back home with you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shareb Posted March 7, 2016 Author Share Posted March 7, 2016 I spoke with mum today - we're traveling down this Friday. She seems so normal over the phone that I wonder how much of what my sister says is completely accurate. So I'm finishing it off and I KNOW she will utterly love it and recognise the love that's gone into making it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KathieB Posted March 7, 2016 Share Posted March 7, 2016 Rebecca, so good to hear your report. And thank you for taking the the time to take and post photos of the shadow box, especially the details: photo albums, camera, etc. There is so much love and thoughtful creativity in this project that I'm sure she will be thrilled to walk down memory lane with you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
havanaholly Posted March 7, 2016 Share Posted March 7, 2016 Have a wonderful visit, Rebecca. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kathi17 Posted March 7, 2016 Share Posted March 7, 2016 I'm hoping that all goes well Rebecca. You have made something that will be cherished for generations. It contains memories that your grandchildren would never have known about without the shadowbox. Since most people with dementia remember years ago better than they remember five minutes ago, it may mean a great deal to your mother. I remember volunteering in the nursing home, and how much some of the residents with dementia enjoyed having me look at their photo albums with them. They could remember so many details about the old days, and loved showing me the photos and telling me about them. You are right, if your mom keeps the shadowbox, just have your sisters keep an eye on it's whereabouts. You are in my thoughts and prayers that things are better for your mom than your sister thinks they are. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shareb Posted March 8, 2016 Author Share Posted March 8, 2016 Thank you all - Three days and I'll know! You all make me feel quite teary - thank you for your caring!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CheckMouse Posted March 8, 2016 Share Posted March 8, 2016 Hoping all goes well on your visit. You might want to make a stipulation, perhaps a note on the back, that when your mother is through with the shadow box, it comes back to you. I made a room box for my uncle years ago, copying a photograph of his mother sitting at her desk using the telephone. He loved it. After he was gone, no one else in the family wanted it, and I was lucky enough to get it back. It is now on display in my own office, and it reminds me of both of them. I have enjoyed watching your progress on this shadow box. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
havanaholly Posted March 8, 2016 Share Posted March 8, 2016 By all means get it back one day, when your mom no longer wants it, for your own children. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shareb Posted March 9, 2016 Author Share Posted March 9, 2016 Today is my last day to finish it. Just finishing up organising the travel etc then I'm off out to my craft cottage. By the end of my day I'll have pics on here of the finished product! Ooo....scary - my stomach is doing flips, how silly! Lol! I clarified it to someone yesterday; I have put so love and so much of myself into this box, that I would be devastated if it is 'disregarded'. Still - that's art for you I guess! None of us should be doing these things for other's approval....although I guess I have done this specifically for my mum. Ah well!! Time will tell! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kathi17 Posted March 9, 2016 Share Posted March 9, 2016 I'm sure she will love it Rebecca! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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