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5/27/07 Rudest Comment about Your Minis


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Guest Happy Heart

Jean, I can understand the hurt and surprise at her lack of gratitude. Some people just don't get it. I almost got into a row with someone last night about 'miniatures' because they don't get what the 'big deal' is.. they think it's 'childish'. Well, to me, it's soothing. It's how I cope with 'idjits' :) Working with miniatures is how I cope with a lot of things. I lose myself in the work and I don't focus on anything else. Gives me the soothing I need sometimes from every day stress. Someone who doesn't do this, or has no connection to it.. wouldn't get it. Nor would they likely understand it. Their loss, I say. :) And thank you, hon. :D

~morningstar~

I find I get less negative comments if I say, "I build houses in small scale." or "I design and contruct miniature houses." Some think that 'having a miniature hobby' means you sit and play with dollhouses (toys) and move their furniture around like a child.

We hobbists 'place furnishings appropriately', we do not play with toys (I know my miniatures certainly aren't intended for play).

And you are oh-so right about it reileving stress and giving you something to concentrate on which is what a hobby is supposed to be all about, after all. I don't worry about how many projects I have on-the-go at any one given time or how long it take to build the smallest portion of one, I work on what I want to, again, what a hobby is meant to be.

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Guest Happy Heart

I've posted before that my sister thinks that the time I spend on my miniatures is wasted time. She's coming up this weekend. She stays in a hotel as she also doesn't like my cats.

I can hardly wait to show her how I spent this evening gluing flower petals onto the roof of a mini treehouse that I've decided to turn into a fairy cottage. I've also stripped down a little trunk that an ebay seller included as a thank you gift with an order. I'm going to re-finish it with toile and glitter and turn it onto a treasure chest.

-Susanne

Girl, you have NO sense of self-preservation, lol

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Jean,I just wanted to say thanx for reminding me in your last paragraph (Your previous post) what I tend to forget,especially when l get stumped by a part or plan of my build that isn't panning out as I'd like. I always taught my preschool students that learning is fun and I am determined to keep having fun myself as I learn more and more about dollhouse building! :)

Edited by kat57
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I haven't encountered any negativity yet. If I do, I figure that's their problem and not mine. It amazes me that people feel the need to offer an opinion unless it's asked for. I'm sorry for all of you that have received rude comments. It must be hurtful.

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A comment can mean multiple things as we all know and based on the way someone says something they think is "forced" complimentary, but sounding snooty and looking at you like your nuts.

Upon discussing my Spring Fling build with the local soccer mom *rich b*****.... I don't even why I try to talk to that woman!

She just nodded her head, wide eyed and at the end of my quick explanation said...."Oh...how.. quaint" ..then proceeded to find things in her phone while dismissing me :bomb: .

I have to still myself sometimes and use the logic others don't ...she probably doesn't have any hobbies other than trying to look busy and keeping up the aura of superiority must be exhausting for her...poor thing :yeahrite:

But then I think on the hundreds of support comments I have received from you fine folks and the people on my blog and communities and feel wonderful! :yinyang:

I agree with previous people when I try to discuss my hobby I use the term miniatures or miniature displays in 1/12th, 1/24,1/48 I think it broadens the acceptability of the more close minded people and also opens the doors some folks don't consider, like dioramas and Fantasy Miniatures.

Keep the circle growing and share that mini love! :throb:

js

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More recently I've been getting some interesting responses from people about my 'work' with miniatures. They ask what are 'miniatures' and I explain doll houses, doll house furniture and accessories, dolls. They ask if I create the furniture and accessories and dolls, and I get to say 'I'm learning'. :) or 'I have books to teach me how' and 'I'm learning to create things for my doll house.' They get interested. :D

~morningstar~

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I think when you express the creative, active part of the hobby people take it more seriously, since their minds don't immediately shut down on the idea of "kids' toy" when they hear "dollhouse". I think if someone handed me a framed picture they'd hand stitched, I'd also want to know if it was backed with acidfree materials, in order to preserve its pristine condition (assuming I wasn't so overwhelmed at the kindness and care shown by such a gift that I forgot to thank the giver first).

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Thankfully, the only "negative" comment I received was from a co-worker last year who said, "You got another dollhouse kit for Christmas?" Like she was surprised I would want another one.

My family and co-workers all know I have always been crafty... and yes... I am one who sells a lot of my crafts so that I make room for the next project, because I don't want to stop. When I was making doll clothing for 16" fashion dolls I was actually making a decent amount of money... enough to fund several trips and such.. so most the people I associate with don't mock my crafting.... they see that I actually achieve something with it while enjoying the process. While miniatures don't "make me money" (sometime I barely break even)... but like I said... I need the room to build the next house so I sell most of them. <3

I don't have the time or energy to deal with negative people... I work for the probation department, I see the NEGATIVE all day long. Thankfully I get support mostly... my Dad calls me an "artist".... but he's my Dad he's supposed to say stuff like that (giggle)... my co-workers honestly inquire about my projects.... and a group of us are gathering at a friend's house one day this month to have a "craft day."

And.... in my humble opinion... I have noticed MOST people who have no hobbies are the ones who are truly the most unhappy and direction-less.....

Mini on my friends :)

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Kelly - sounds like the same situation with child-rearing. The ones who don't have the kids, have all the answers for raising them properly! My mother was a single parent, after I was about 5, and her single-lady friends had lots of advice for her. Fortunately, God endowed her with a pretty good brain, so she politely thanked them and ignored the advice. If not, I'm sure I would be in an institution now! :borg:

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The ones who don't have the kids, have all the answers for raising them properly!

Yeah, my younger sister, who never had children, was sure she knew everything there was to know about raising children who were always behaved and always, always put all their things away neatly and cleaned their rooms without a fuss.

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I also don't think the comments are meant malisciously; people who lack imagination and the drive to express it through a hobby are probably unable to understand that their comments are insensitive and rude.

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My husband encouraged me all the way, but at this point wonders if he created a monster and an my dad is my biggest enabler I mean supporter of my hobby, but he has been told by my husband if he sees another doll house I might like to just keep it too himself LOL. They both have hobbies, they understand the satisfaction, the excitement and fun of creating things

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My family was extremely supportive when I first got into miniatures, but now years later when I had one house remodeled, I think they are questioning my motives. My sister-in-law thinks my obession is due to the fact that I don't own a real life home, as I am living in my parents' house. I told her that was only part of it, and the rest of it I didn't bother to explain. I think she meant to be supportive, as if saying, "I understand why this is important to you," but if she really did, I'm not so sure she would be trying to analyze the situation.

In general, I agree with Holly. I don't think the majority of negative dollhouse comments are meant to be malicious. I just think it sounds strange to people who don't automatically recognize it as an adult hobby. When I mentioned my dollhouse to a former coworker he laughed and said, "Don't you think you are a little old for a dollhouse?" It really struck him as strange, as I am sure a lot of other people's hobbies would seem strange to me until I realized just how many people were "into it."

Truthfully, if it weren't for the Internet, and in particular this site, I myself wouldn't realize how popular this hobby is. Here I thought I was a rarity, and now after all these years I am finding out that I am normal. - Who would have known.

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Everyone has their ''Thing'' don't they? if not they must be bored

I think there must be a great number of "bored" folk out there whose special hobby is criticizing or putting down those who keep busy with all and sundry hobbies and projects - not just our mini addiction but all manner of crafts and interests.

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Jealousy and guilt also generate a lot of nasty negativity in those who experience those feelings. I feel sorry for those people, but I'm too busy to let negative comments affect my own feelings of enjoyment and accomplishment.

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I don't think people who make rude comments mean to be insulting (unless, of course, they have a thing with you and snipe in other areas as well) or that those who dis our hobby are themselves bereft of personal interests.

I do think the majority of them are just not well skilled in the social convention that would dictate a positive reaction when presented with a situation in which one is not on familiar ground. Instead of a neutral,"How lovely" of even "My, my", they say the first thing that comes to mind, something dismissive and/or aggressive, which indicates to me that they are clueless and uncomfortable in an area foreign to them and simply want to change the subject to get back into their own comfort zone.

Life is too short to be bothered with them.

The other side of the coin is the person whose eyes light up, who oohs and aahs, and who starts asking questions. Here's hoping y'all have more of them in your life than the negative folks.

Anyone want to start a thread based on the nicest comments you've received?

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  • 2 weeks later...

I dated a guy, who among other lovely things said...when we are married, you don't really think I am going to let you have "those things" in my house, do you?

Those things referred to my dolls, books....and dollhouse. Esp the dollhouse because of the size.

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I dated a guy, who among other lovely things said...when we are married, you don't really think I am going to let you have "those things" in my house, do you?

Those things referred to my dolls, books....and dollhouse. Esp the dollhouse because of the size.

Well he was up front about not being the right one.

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