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Potty training

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My son is now 19 months old and I am starting to think about potty training. Then I started thinking, "Wait, there are a lot of people here who have potty trained kids." I am doing searches on the internet trying to find out how, when, where.... but nothing is better than talking to someone who has been there. As an only child I am so often clueless about stuff like this! So, any suggestions? I have heard of a potty training in one day book. I was thinking of trying that. But I also don’t want to push to hard if he is not ready.

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When I was a nanny I potty trained my little guy by keeping fruit loops in the bathroom. When he was ready we would go to the potty and put a fruit loop in the toilet and he would try to "hit" the target. Not only was it fun, but he learned to aim as well.

We also did the same thing when he would have to .....ummm sit down. Not that he could see the target, but it was still fun for him to see if he hit it after.

I don't know if this helps much, but it sure worked for me.

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Wow! That is so funny! I never would have thought of that. I had to laugh out loud imagining my little Jax doing that. Too funny. I think that may help I will try it, we havent started yet but I think he might be ready. Good way to teach him to aim too. I have to admit that is something I have been dreading!

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I have never had a child, so can't say that I've done this with my own kid, and the last time I had any dealings with it "up close" was when I was 8 and my little brother 2...

Note I said "2". I'm thinking 19 months might be a little early. And I do know that some boys get to this point much later than girls....and even girls will have "accidents" when they're 4, 5, and even older.

I remember standing in front of the toilet with my little brother, he with his pants down, me saying plaintively, "I don't know how boys do it!!! " :p

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I have never had a child, so can't say that I've done this with my own kid, and the last time I had any dealings with it "up close" was when I was 8 and my little brother 2...

Note I said "2". I'm thinking 19 months might be a little early. And I do know that some boys get to this point much later than girls....and even girls will have "accidents" when they're 4, 5, and even older.

I remember standing in front of the toilet with my little brother, he with his pants down, me saying plaintively, "I don't know how boys do it!!! " :p

Yes, as this is my first child I may be being a little over zealous. He is only 19 months old. I am so excited to teach him things but I don’t want to overwhelm him and make him frustrated.

I started thinking maybe he could or at least start grasping the concept even if he is not actually going potty because it seems so often I underestimate him and what he can do. Like yesterday I spelled candy so he would not know what I was saying (we hadn’t even been talking about food) and he just looked at me and said, "I want candy!" Then I asked him to go throw something away in the garbage and I did not even think he knew what garbage was and he looked at me picked up the paper and threw it away! I was astounded. I started realizing that he was a lot smarter than I was giving him credit for. So now when we color I say the colors and shapes and he has learned the colors purple, red, and orange! He also knows some of his body parts. But just because he knows what colors things are doesn’t necessarily mean he is ready for potty training! I don’t want to go overboard either way. I want to challenge him but not overwhelm him!

One of the things I was thinking of is just getting him used to the potty. Maybe have him sit on it with his clothes on just to get used to it. One article I read said you could have your child sit on the potty prior to teaching potty training while watching tv. I think it would be good because he would become familiar with the potty and comfortable with it. But then I don’t want the potty to just become a regular chair that might confuse him. So I don’t know if it is a good idea or not. As I was reading I also thought it might be a good idea to teach him how to pull his pants up and down by himself. So far I have always gotten him dressed I haven’t let him try to dress himself.

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I do know this about child rearing...I was a children's librarian in a former life.. :p..

As you're discovering, kids learn WAY more than we give them credit for! And earlier and earlier than we would have thought possible. They listen hard, and are very observant. Since everything is NEW to them, they pay much more attention than we old adults do!

I think it's very important that you talk to your child as much as you can. Tell him about what you're doing. Tell him about colors, numbers, names of things, count stuff as you handle it "one potato in the pot, two potatos in the pot...", even ordinary routine things as you go about your day. READ to the child. Kids even younger than your 19 month old love books, love to be read to, can point out things in storybooks. Sing to the child -- he doesn't care if you don't happen to have a voice that would get you on American Idol!

Kids love rhymes. They use their ears to begin to understand language and how language goes together, and rhymes fascinate them (which is why so many children's books are written in rhyme, and songs rhyme.) They like to make "funny sounds": black/slack/nik-nak paddy-wak and so on.

Point out letters in "nature". For example, show how sides of pictures form the letter L. Then play with L.. llllove, lloook, llllemon.... and so on. Show him how his llllleft hand can make the lllletter LLLLL...

You'll be pleasantly surprised at what he already knows, and what he'll quickly learn. Even potty training.. ;)

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this is an issue we are facing at home too. My son will be 3 in Nov and he could not care less if he has dirty pants. He has started to make progress with letting us know if he is going to the bathroom or not. And has tried the toilet only once, he is also noticing the difference between boys and girls now. So im hoping that we will start to make progress on this issue.

I dont want to push the issue because he gets very upset, but my mom has reassured me that it will happen eventually. Ben seems slower on certain things and ahead in others.

jenn

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We are in potty training stage as well. Izzy is 28 mos now. Although she showed some interest at about 20 mos it was a "phase" and she soon rebelled the potty. I am thinking ofr a boy especially 19 mos is early.

Until he can dress himself with ease I would just leave it be. They have to beable to fully communicate their needs, and have a bit of an ability to hold on for a few secs too. He also is not physically developed enough to go a period of a couple hours without wetting at this stage. Boys bladders are quite slow to develop. I think my son was just over 2 1/2... when he started. But started is the key word, it takes a lonnnnnggg time before they are reliable.

THere is the exception to every rule of course, but I have found 2 1/2 reasonable for all the kids I have been involved with but 3 is not uncommon either. With my son, he developed constipation as well, also common in potty trianing and for that lactulose did the trick. Kids often develop a fear of pooping on the potty.

NOw Izzy is once again interested, but she must do it all herself. Potty is her game on her terms. She will often come up with me when I have to go, and even if she sits still for a few minutes all is good. It will come eventually and there is no reason to worry about it or pressure it to happen. My g/f said there are no kids that hit kindergarten in diapers..it all works out fine in the end!!

THe fruit loops is a great idea, we did it with cheerios, and also "make bubbles" in the toilet. Kids will find a potty their size easiest and even boys do better sitting first. THe step to the adult toilet and then aim can be worked on once the need is being met and understood. TOo many tasks to grasap at once can be overwhelming to a little one.

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My son turned 4 on the 25th and I just got him going reguarly now. We tried earlier and he lost interest very quickly. But we got his acceptance letter for pre school and as soon as I showed it to him it was easy as pie to get him to go. Now he has been trained for a month.

He has been using the potty like a big man ( standing up) for about two weeks. I taught him sitting down because I don't know how to go standing up. He would sit on the potty facing the wall and point his dinky down with a couple of fingers. He went fine that way. I know a lot of ladies who taught their sons to go sitting down. They say it's cleaner. It doesn't matter to me with 4 kids I am always cleaning anyway.

With my girls I used potty prizes. Every time they went they got something small they really liked. Toys from the dollar store are great. Buy a kit and break down the peices so they get one every time they go or hershey's kisses or m&m's work too.

He'll let you know when he is ready. Girls want to go faster than boys...from my experience. My baby girl is 2 1/2 and was picking out panties last night. They'll let you know when they are ready but I think two is a good age to try. If you try too early they will have problems especially with #2. I tried before 2 with my oldest and she got constipated alot because she didn't want to go on the potty.

Just relax and take the cues from your baby everyone is different. Don't worry it will come out okay in the end. Ha Ha :p

Edited by mommymakesstuff2

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No first-hand knowledge here, but an amusing story to share: My niece was about 2-1/2, knew what was expected of her, but just didn't care. One day, when my sister was exhibiting frustration with having to change her yet again, the kid promised she'd stop soiling her diapers when they went to Florida (vacation was coming up in a month or so). Sure enough, my sister says that the first thing the kid did when they arrived at the motel was to get her training pants out of the suitcase. She never looked back and did not have any accidents.

I'm surprised she didn't grow up to be a lawyer ... or Monty Hall! :p

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Potty Training in a Day is the book I used for all four of my boys and it worked 100%. I did it on long weekends and never went back to diapers. Be sure to look for signs of readiness before starting, they are listed in the book. Starting and stopping potty training is hard on kids so pick a time when you will be around the house for several days in a row. Good luck.

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I didn't have much trouble training my 2 eldest a boy and a girl. It's true that girls are more eager to be "grown up" than boys. I started getting them used to the idea around the age of 2. It took them a while to get interested in the potty. The one they used played music, which they liked.

You can sit a girl down on the potty when she shows signs of having to go, my daughter usually did. The first time she tinkled into it she got upset because she felt she had "dirtied" her potty, but I was so happy she figured it couldn't be all that bad. She did balk for a while though.

It's harder with boys, because you can't really set them down. You have to watch them for signs and speed them on their way. Those pullup diapers are wonderful.

My youngest son was another kettle of fish. He was into his routines. When he was about a year old we would often go out for a walk after dinner. The Muppet Show was on at 7:00 and we always watched it. Well, if we dawdled a bit, or left the house a little late, he would always start kicking in his stroller and rocking back and forth whenever it got to be close to 7:00. Somehow he seemed to know that it was time for the Muppets.

Anyway, diapers were part of his world and no matter what I did, said or tried to bribe him with, it was nothing doing. He didn't mind sitting on the potty. He liked to look at his picture books, but apparently as soon as he felt he had to "go", he insisted he had to get up and was tired of the potty. Then he'd wet his diaper.

He was almost 4 before he gave in. What did it?

I bought a small Bissell rug cleaner. It did a great job of vacuuming spills (and pee) and rinsing the rug clean. It was however, quite loud. My little ray of sunshine hated loud noises, especially vacuums. I told him that I had to use my rug cleaner every time he had an accident, so he decided to start using the potty.

He never wet the bed after that either.

I wish I had bought that cleaner years before. if I never used it again it would have still been worth the price.

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Potty Training in a Day is the book I used for all four of my boys and it worked 100%. I did it on long weekends and never went back to diapers. Be sure to look for signs of readiness before starting, they are listed in the book. Starting and stopping potty training is hard on kids so pick a time when you will be around the house for several days in a row. Good luck.

I have heard good things about that book. Another mother mentioned it to me and said her boy actually was potty trained in one day. I think that may have even been the book my mom used to potty train me. She said I was potty trained in one day but she couldn't remember enough for me to do it but she said something about a book. I think I may hit Borders tomorrow and see if I can find it.

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my little girl is 19 months old, and if i could teach her to give me some sort of signal to let me know she has to go, as she can't say potty yet. however, she knows what to do. she has a little potty that i bought a while ago so i would have it when she was ready, however we are encountering a new problem. she keeps trying to change her own diaper, esp if she is dirty. i just can't get her to say potty or anything even remotely close. she lets us know when she needs changed, will bring you a diaper, wipes, and throw it away after, but can't say potty. it's kinda crazy, but i am also afraid to try to train her before i have the baby, i figure she'll just go backward after the baby is born....

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i am also afraid to try to train her before i have the baby, i figure she'll just go backward after the baby is born....

That is a very valid concern. I read in a Mr Rogers book (I love Mr Rogers) that often children digress, as far a potty training is concerned, when there is a stressful situation ie new baby, or moving. They may start wetting their bed again ect... He said it was better to find a time when they are not stressed out to teach them. When is your baby due?

Wow, I just started researching this yesterday and I have already found out so much. To think three days ago I knew absolutly nothing about this.

By the way, thank you all for your advice, imput, and information. It is always nice to hear from people who are there or who have been there.

I think it's very important that you talk to your child as much as you can. Tell him about what you're doing. Tell him about colors, numbers, names of things, count stuff as you handle it "one potato in the pot, two potatos in the pot...", even ordinary routine things as you go about your day. READ to the child. Kids even younger than your 19 month old love books, love to be read to, can point out things in storybooks. Sing to the child -- he doesn't care if you don't happen to have a voice that would get you on American Idol!

Kids love rhymes. They use their ears to begin to understand language and how language goes together, and rhymes fascinate them (which is why so many children's books are written in rhyme, and songs rhyme.) They like to make "funny sounds": black/slack/nik-nak paddy-wak and so on.

Point out letters in "nature". For example, show how sides of pictures form the letter L. Then play with L.. llllove, lloook, llllemon.... and so on. Show him how his llllleft hand can make the lllletter LLLLL...

Ann that is fabulous advice some of that I have been doing and it helps so much. Some of it I had not thought of and I am glad you mentioned it because now I can start putting them into practice too. Like pointing out the letter L. I have sung him the ABC's but that is about it.

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When the eldest managed to wake up with a dry diaper in the AM (around 24-27 months) I offered him the potty (we had a seat with a smaller opening & a deflector that fit on the regular seat) and he tried it, decided it was fun (especially getting to wave "byby" to the poopoos) and moved directly into "big boy" drawers. The second one was even easier, the eldest kept telling him how nice it felt not to wear wet pants and finally he decided he'd try it (also about age 2). The youngest was a totally different story, but when we learned later he was bipolar it explained a lot.

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I didn't try to "teach" my children anything when they were small. We just played together a great deal and I talked to them constantly.

When my youngest was 8 months old, crawling around and pulling himself up at tables and chairs, I remarked to DH,"I wonder how much of what we say he can understand?"

The little dickens turned his head, looked straight at me and said "A lot".

Creepy...

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the Classic" sign of being ready is a toddler looking down right before starting peeing, lots easier to see when the kid is naked! Before I started the potty I would point out to my boys when this happened so they could get the connection between that feeling a pee coming out. Another sign is wanting the dirty diaper off, but some kids want them off LONG before they are ready to train.

The most important skill for potty training is for the kid to be able to pull their own under pants up and down. If you have to do this then you are the one being trained not your toddler. So by big loose thick ones at first, easier for little fingers. Also do not waste money on pullups because they do not feel wet and cold enough. yet. Especially easygoing or more laid back kids will not be motivated and end up being in them for a year. Dresses are also easier for potty training than pants. If you find yourself using pullups for times a accident would be a problem then either you or you kid is not ready to PT. Yes, it could be the parent that is not confident enough or ready!

Having said all this, have you guys/girls practice getting underpants down and back up. Stock up on little treats and get the book. You can probably find it on Amazon for under $5.00 including shipping. We used to wrap our potty rewards in bits of paper and keep them on the toilet tank.

Last, I was a baby nurse for over 25 years, I do not intend to be bossy, but parents sometimes put so much energy into potty training. I want to remind all you moms of toddlers that early PTing, just like early walking, is NOT a sign of intelligence, it is purely biological and can not be hurried. There is no magical "right" age either. Any child can be potty trained fairly quickly provided that the child is physically ready. if you do not see signs of readiness just wait a bit until you do. Waitingwill be better for everyone concerned.

SOmeone suggested using targets for boys. This is an excellent idea. They sell then in the UK, called "tinkle targets", I got some for DH when we where first married. He and his brother had their own bathroom, plus he never did his own bathroom cleaning, so he was somewhat clueless about proper toilet use.

This advice is not in books but should be- If you have little boys they might grow up to be someone husband, so do teach then to lift and lower the seat right away!

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This advice is not in books but should be- If you have little boys they might grow up to be someone husband, so do teach then to lift and lower the seat right away!

AMEN

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This advice is not in books but should be- If you have little boys they might grow up to be someone husband, so do teach then to lift and lower the seat right away!

My husband and I have a deal that works real well. We both put the seat all the way down when we are done so the tolet is never open. Then we both have to put the seat down when we are done.

Aggiemae, that is awesome advice. The thing I have been most worried about is him being able to pull his own pants up and down. I have decided I am going to start with that. Having him dress himself more and more.

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I waited until each of my boys was 3 years old. On their third birthday they were presented with a few packages of their favorite "character" underwear. They felt very grown up and important. One of the older boys was assigned to show them what to do. They caught on quick, partially because they were old enough to have control, but also because they wanted to be "big" like their brothers. It usually took about a week and they pretty much had the hang of it.

My youngest was a bed wetter until he was 12, but we never made an issue of it. He just could not wake up at night to go. From the time we brought him home from the hospital, he slept through the night. He was just such a sound sleeper, there was no way he could wake up if he had to go. I changed his sheets every morning, had a rubber sheet on the mattress, and a stack of pajamas and towels. I'd check him halfway through the night and he was usually wet, so I'd just roll him over, put a clean dry towel under him, and let him sleep. When he was 12 he just stopped one day...had one or two accidents after that, but that was it.

Now my niece...she's 5 1/2 and STILL won't use the potty. Her parents have tried everything. Now I have to admit, last summer she was doing fairly well and her parents had their 4th child...a little girl...last September. The potty training was progressing, but then the new baby died at 3 weeks old of SIDS. At that point, Alyssa refused to have anything more to do with the potty. I was baby sitting last week and reminded her that she would be starting school next month and HAD to be toilet trained. Her response was "well, I just won't go to school, then!" My sister-in-law is expecting another baby in October, so I don't know how that's going to affect things. Their little boy is 3 and he's showing interest in the potty.

We just console ourselves with the fact that by the time she's 18, she'll be potty trained....hopefully!

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When they mess up, point and yell at the offending patch of carpet until they are utterly ashamed, then hustle them outside so they can finish emptying all their plumbing. Worked for my kids.

(They're in my avatar... :D

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After 3 kids, I've found that potty training has to "matter" to the kids. Some moms are the ones who are "trained" (my mom was trying to get my kids to use the potty at 12 months old by putting them on the potty chair every hour). I assured her it really wasnt' that big of a deal, since I was pretty sure my kids wouldn't be in diapers in 1st grade, lol.

One thing I did do with my son, my first, who was almost 3, was ask him to tell me "when he wanted to go potty like Daddy" . One day right before his 3rd birthday he told me he wanted to potty like Dad. We had some ups and downs, but today, he's an active member of the pottying community. (

My daughter, who's now almost 10, had some trouble til she was about 7. She just slept so soundly (probably, some form of sleep apnea due to huge tonsils and adenoids) is now perfectly fine, even after enduring a baby sister at age 2 1/2.

Whatever you do, I say, don't worry! Be patient and it will happen :D Most of all don't listen to those well meaning friends/people who are always telling you how wonderful their kids are so you will feel bad when yours don't hit the same milestones! That is my biggest pet peave--people who 'brag" about their kids just to make you feel like you're a bad parent. Parenting is a tough enough job without the extra guilt some people try to heap on you. Best of luck to you :)

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When they mess up, point and yell at the offending patch of carpet until they are utterly ashamed, then hustle them outside so they can finish emptying all their plumbing. Worked for my kids.

I did yell and point after the offending patch of carpet with my youngest after he doused the rug for the 4th or 5th time. Nothing worked til I got the little steam cleaner. :D

Another one was running around the house naked one afternoon after his bath and I caught him out on the patio and managed to get him back into the house and dressed. It wasn't til a little after that I found he had left a package on the patio. I guess he felt that was a better place for it than the potty.

I don't know what it was with my kids. When they were little each one tried to get out of the house stark naked at some point. Two succeeded.

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This topic ended up being sooooooo timely in my house. Although Izzy had gone on the potty from time to time, knew all the mechanics and everything she refused for the most part. Don't even show her her top drawer of panties!!!! Like I said it was her thing on HER terms.

That was until the day before yesterday. She wanted panties. After two small start and stop accidents in the morning she was successful to the potty the rest of the day. I gave her a candy necklace to wear for being a good girl and wearing panites. Thankfully she is not a candy hound and that necklsce will last her a week or maybe even 2!

Yesterday, she had one accident while at the park. DH forgot to take her before going out :) We have been making a huge deal of her successes and not saying anything bad at all about accidents. Just direct her to take the wet stuff off and put them in her laundry basket. Still using a diaper for night we will see if she starts staying dry etc over night. So far no bowel movements in the past 2 days so will watch her in that dept.

Today is going well also :D

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